81 replies to this topic

[Anileve]

Some of you might stumble across this post of mine and leave with a lump in your throat and redness in the face, but I am going for it anyway!

I am interested, do men have conversations in public Restrooms? The only reason I ask is because Ladies Room usually substitutes the “Discussions Lounge” where various topics of Political, relationships, philosophical and feminist content arise with the sound of the toilets flushing. Now with men, I think it’s more like the quick “thoughtless” (as in most cases) procedure. Do you ever feel uncomfortable exposing your crown jewels next to the bad-aiming stranger next to you in fear of being judged?

I have to admit that I have been curious for some time and always forget to ask my guy friends. Let’s get to the bottom of this phenomenon! I hope I am not being too intrusive or grotesque. If I am well, I am not sorry a bit , we are all adults here, except of course for some members with an alias associated with animals that Jews refuse to eat.

[MosJan]

do men have conversations in public Restrooms ??? - Yes We do

[Azat]

I never do.

[Dan]

I am interested, do men have conversations in public Restrooms?

haha, good question... depends on where i am.. if it's within a specific community, yeah, i do, but if i'm just anywhere, nope, i don't.

[Anileve]

Well well, here I am sweating my fingers are turning into Italian sausages; my eyes are developing an incontrollable blinking, typing 3 paragraphs to ask one simple question. Expecting to be enlightened to gain some knowledge that might eliminate my sleepless nights of wonder about the Male Public Restrooms, and all I get are some dry one liners??!!!!! Come on guys, please help this poor soul, for gods sakes spill the beans in a more elaborate matter!

Azat your answer was indeed very informative, at leas it was more than a no, Bravo! You get a whole matchbox full of dead lice.

Anyhoo, please explain your answers. And if it is no, then perhaps you were a witness of some, and what do you discuss. Sheesh, talk about chew and spit it out…

[Sasun]

I usually meet the same person late in the day. The conversation goes like this.
Me: "Oops... sorry" (after banging him with the door because for some reason he always stands behind the door when I open it)
He: "Ohh... Hey how are you doing?"
Me: "Fine, and you?"
He: "Not bad. Well.. you have a good night" (he leaves)
Me: "Good night, see you later (in the bathroom)"
End of conversation.

Ani, are you happy now?

[MosJan]

Ani jan du ches uzzum imanas te menq inch enq xosum iynter
MEZ Azat torreeq sa azat yerkir e - gone Zugaranum Azat torrq @zganq mez

[Sip]

Funny I never even noticed there were other men in public bathrooms untill now that you mentioned it. I don't think I have ever said or heard anything to/from anyone ... the only time I do remember was at LAX airport once where I heard a guy in one of the stalls appologizing desparately to his girl friend on the phone!!!! I thought wow ... now this guy has some style

The other aspects you may be interested is the unwritten "codes" ... the algorithm for urinal usage is basically a form of solving the gravity/anti-gravity problem ... i.e. you have these particles (guys) that are strongly attracted to these things (urinals) but strongly repelled by each other ... and the equilibrium state is often achieved by the guys utilizing the farthest possible urinals from each other. If there is no time to do the optimization or if they "have to go", the rule of thumb is at least one urinal separated from the closest person or on opposite sides of the wall.

Unwritten urinal code #2 ... washing hands is optional

[Dan]

all I get are some dry one liners??!!!!! Come on guys, please help this poor soul, for gods sakes spill the beans in a more elaborate matter!

Do you REALLY wanna know?

Edit: I'm assuming others don't, so lol...

Uhh, no, nothing explicit though. I guess I can't avoid censorship on this board today... *waits*

Edited by Dan, 05 December 2003 - 09:46 PM.

[Anileve]

You guys are hilarious, I was laughing so hard that Vartges Paroumoughirjian showed up at my door in his fancy adidas suit, gold chains, furry slippers and with a bottle of Smirnoff, thinking that there was a party going on here. But seriously, Sasun I loved your traditional incident that has been a ritual for you.

Mos Jan, iharke yes uzumem imanam te inchi masin eq duk khosum, dra hamar yes hartsretsi. Haskanalie vor duk uzumek mnak menak dzer txamardkants mtkeri mech, buyts mi ankam karak ays tankagan gaghtnika indz batsatrek.

Seap, I am even more certain of my conclusive vote, you are the funniest hyeforumer, hands down! Spanetsir, that was brilliant dude!

As far as the rest of you go, come on guys seriously, remember…remember…remember (echoing words in a hypnotizing mode) what were some of the discussions you’ve heard or engaged in. Have you had a guy confess his harsh break up in the bathroom? Or propose to pay you money so that you can distract his wife, so that he can leap to see his mistress? Come on!

[Anileve]

Do you REALLY wanna know?

What do you think? Do you think I typed up 30 paragraphs of text for my health?

[angel4hope]

hahahahahah thats hilarious---when i was younger--i dint know what urinals were i thought guys also had seperate toilet seat-bathroom type spaces-and all these unwritten urinal codes--seaphan seriously as anileve said before--im on the floor laughing histarically and unable to contain myself....thanx for the laugh--and anileve this never passed my mind before interesting.....

[Sip]

Here's more unwritten codes:

3) If there are people in the stalls and you are using the urinal, it's often "proper" to turn on a faucet, wait few seconds, then turn off the faucet so the people in the stalls think you just washed your hands.

4) Ripping the paper towel after the faucet ceremony must be done in the loudest possible way. Slam the operating handle and RIP with force to make a bold statement that I'm DONE and will be leaving soon. So all those that are holding back their loud farts know that at least one guy will be leaving and they can let it rip more freely.

By the way, the no hand washing thing ... I need to clarify ... it's possible for a guy to enter a bathroom, do his busniess, and leave the bathroom without touching ANYTHING other than his zipper. It takes practice but it is very possible. The key is to wait at the proper time to leave ... i.e. let someone else open the door and you just use your shoe to keep it open for yourself.

[Sasun]

Ani, this might be of interest to you. in our bathroom there is a sarcastic poem posted on the wall. And there is also a note saying: "no foreign objects please", someone has volunteered to add to it "domestic objects too".
If you are interested I can get you the poem next week, I don't remember it by heart

[Dan]

What do you think? Do you think I typed up 30 paragraphs of text for my health?

lol, no.. I think it was a rhetorical question that I asked.

Well, it goes something like this:

guy: yo.
me: uhh hi..
guy: wazzap
me: nothin' much.......
guy: i'm stan.
me: ......
guy: and you are?
me: ..........
guy: cat eat your tongue?
me: uhh no.. why?
guy: why what?
me: um nothing, see ya later.... (translated as: yeah right)

yeah.... i've come across weird ones, one guy was on crack and was asking me weird personal questions, but he seemed nice lol..

[Dan]

If there are people in the stalls and you are using the urinal, it's often "proper" to turn on a faucet, wait few seconds, then turn off the faucet so the people in the stalls think you just washed your hands.

roflmfao... i thought i was the only one.. ok, i know that probably sounds disgusting, but i hate washing my hands...

[Azat]

Azat your answer was indeed very informative, at leas it was more than a no, Bravo! You get a whole matchbox full of dead lice. 

anileve jan, why? I did not think I needed to use more words to say the same thing. I'll answers it a bit differently. I do not think I have ever engaged in a conversation with anyone in a restroom. My boss in an company I use to work at few years back would walk in after his guys and start asking technical questions and I always felt really uncomfortable.

As for washing hands. I must be paranoid or something but I wash my hands no matter what I do and I will never ever touch the door knobs in a restroom with bare hands. I always use the paper towel that I dried my hands with to open the door with because I know so many men do not wash their hands.

[Anileve]

You guys are a riot, I knew there were some interesting things behind the closed doors of men’s bathroom, besides that awful stench. And what concerns not washing your hands, that is simply grotesque. I’ll think twice about shaking a guy’s hand after his visit to the potty. Why is it so difficult to wash your hands after paying a tribute to your private possessions? So what is the span of time these procedures usually take place?

Dan, do you always introduce yourself in the bathrooms before taking care of business?

Sasun, yes please post those poems I am burning with curiosity.

[shiner]

No, I think it's uncommon.

But women are different to begin with, because it is not unusual for them to go to the public restroom together in the first place. Guys never do this.

[Anileve]

I will never ever touch the door knobs in a restroom with bare hands. I always use the paper towel that I dried my hands with to open the door with because I know so many men do not wash their hands.

Well I don’t blame you, after hearing these God awful stories! I must admit that I did go to the men’s room on a few occasions, because the women’s line was worse that the line for the bread in Yerevan during ’90-92. And I washed my hands and turned the knob with my bare hands, now I have a sudden urge to dip my hands into the rubbing alcohol!

My boss in an company I use to work at few years back would walk in after his guys and start asking technical questions and I always felt really uncomfortable.

Why such discomfort?