Are you Armenian?

You might be Armenian if....

* You think that the Armenians invented everything.
* You can pronounce "gh" and "kh" and are proud of it
* You believe that the most important people in history must have Armenian blood in them....
* At meetings, you MUST state your opinion, even if it is EXACTLY the same as someone else's who just spoke.
* You were overjoyed when you learned that Principal Skinner was Armenian: Armen Tanzarian!
* You believe Armenians were blond before the Ottoman invasions
* You are over 30, male, and still living at home.
* Your make up rhyming words that start with the letter "M" like "oosh, moosh" or "duhkegh, muhkegh"
* You know the meaning of "shesh besh"
* Someone in your family sells carpets or jewelry.
* You know the difference between a hoodia and miedia
* Your father is an import-export contractor, or you don't know what he does ...
* If you brag to your friends that Carmine on "Laverne and Shirley" was Armenian
* You've used your dash board (or steering wheel) as a dumbeg

And just for fun, here again is the famous "Are you an Armenian? Test"

Take this self scoring test and find out! Give yourself one point for each "yes" you give to the following statements:

1. You have at least one Persian rug or crocheted tablecloth.
2. You frequently use expressions like "oaf, eeh, and eyaah."
3. You talk with your hands when you're on the phone.
4. You have at least one inlaid tavli board in your closet.
5. You have philo dough, string cheese or See's candy in your freezer.
6. You think Fresno is the capital of California.
7. You get five o'clock shadow at two-thirty. (men)
8. You serve hummus and tabbouleh with your taco chips.
9. You don't buy anything unless you can get it for at least 50%off, and even when you do you wonder where you could have gotten a better deal
10. You have at least one fruit tree and a patch of cilantro growing in your back yard.
11. You save string and toothpicks from restaurants.
12. You think a "chinook" is a shelf to display your teapots.
13. You have a crock of clarified butter under your sink.
14. You have a picture of Mt. Ararat hanging in your garage.
15. You have a jar of tuttu in your refrigerator or a box of Uncle Ben's converted rice in your pantry.
16. You think the Star Trek Kardasians are an ancient Armenian tribe.
17. You shovel food on other people's plates when they aren't looking
18. You think pilaf is one of the four food groups.
19. Your blanket and sheets were pinned together when you were growing up
20. You have that picture and accompanying poem by William Saroyan in your home
21. You know Onnik is not a pig sound
22. The word "kef" gives you a serious adrenaline rush
23. You believe Turkish coffee is really Armenian coffee with a stolen name
24. The extent of your Turkish vocabulary is X?!!XX, and #$$$XX&**@, and of course ##@@!#$%
25. You know who "Tark the Shark" is
26. You know John Baronian and have "been to the house"

Super bonus points:

1. Add two points if you've ever told anyone that former California Governor
George Deukmejian was a relative.
2. Add two points if you have a video tape of old "Mannix" reruns.
3. Add five points if you have a recording of Charles Aznavour.
4. Add 7 points if you not only know we were the first Christian nation, but what year we declared it and who was first Catholicos
5. Add 10 points if you know the difference between the Armenian throshag and the Georgian throshag

Interpreting your score:

0-5 points: Let's face it, you're an odar.
6-10 points: You probably know a lot of Armenians or are married to one.
11-15 points: Chances are extremely high that you're Armenian.
15-20 or more: There's no doubt about it, you'll never fool anyone, you're hye: You live your life closer to heaven than most

Vay!
I lose, deffinitily!!
I guess.. I'm not Armenian!!!!

Nvard don't worry! Now here is a real test!!!

1. Respect you elders: never argue with them, try not to talk about girls etc., nomater who they are, brothers, cousins, uncles etc.
2. Never argue with your parents, recpect them, never put recpect to anybody above respect to your parents!
3. Respect the girls of your nationality, love them as nobody.
4. Love Armenia! Nomatter where you live, nothing can be compared to Armenia.
5. Man is the host in the family, nomatter who you are, woman or man, it is the holy rule and tradional. Women will be happy if you support no.3.
6. At least try to speak Armenian.
7. Respect your traditions, values etc. Never ask "why is that so?"
8. Atend church and pray to GOD for forgiveness.
9. Learn about your history, know the great heros of Armenia.
10. Be proud to be an Armenian.

0-9: Sorry, you are an odar.
9-10: Hay es du, hay em yes. vAkh ku cavt tanem yes!!!::)))

P.S. Farsi jan, it doesn't matter if you are half or full blooded. Armenian is an Armenian!

Well, mine is a mixed bag(couldn't you have guessed that already?)

1.Uncle Ben's is "verbotten" in my house, Basmati rice is only allowed! We make fun of the Uncle Ben's pilaf.

2. I have yet to hear one of my family members ever refer to "Turkish coffee" as anything other than "Thachkakan cofe."

3. Yes the Kardasians were Armenian, I can't be convinced otherwise.

4. I get a five o clock shadow at six, sorry those American Indian genes!

5. I have three Persian rugs, so do I get extra points?

6. Hummus and tabouleh? WHat's that? HA HA just kidding, but those are Lebanese-Palestinian-Syrian etc.

7. My friends hate my habit of shoving food on their plate, and forcing them to eat, I laughed so much when I read that one in your list Sulamita!

8. I finally left home at 30 exactly!

9. I still am not too sure what my Odar dad does for a living!

10. Is "kopek" and "eshak" the Turkish words you had in mind?

11. I have a "nardi" board, but don't know how to play!

12. I talk with my hands all the time!

I would also add:

Can extract occupation,income,marital status,ethnicity,education, religion and other vital data about a person, after speaking to that person for only five minutes, and doing it so the person doesn't know what hit them!

I'm in deep stress. I'm not an Armenian according to either of the tests, so I better make a test of my own.

P.S. Artur jan, welcome back to hell!

? inchpes gtnel Hye'in massayi mej

Patasxan > dra karik@ chka mi kani rope spasek yev ink @ iren tsuyts k@ta

[This message has been edited by MosJan (edited August 12, 2000).]

Amen Hye tramard Patravor e ir Kyanki @enthatskum katarel 3 karevoraguyn partakanutyun .
#1 T@nkel mek tsar
#2 Amusnanal
#3 Unenal 3 kam aveli Hye yerexaner

isk Hye knoj Partakanutyunn e katarel Hye tramadru Bolor Partakanutyuner@

nvard
Wow, I almost pass this one!!
Welcome back!

For the record: I did not make up any part of that "test." It was e-mailed to me a while ago and I just wanted to share it with you.

Ararat there was no need to make up such a "serious test" This was supposed to be a joke

Sulami

Vay Arture ekela..lol..welcome back, dude

Sulamik, I got the same fwd a while back; cute

I definitely win, you've forgotten a few like making your own matzoun, etc. Anyway, I'm over 30 but do not get a 2.30pm shadow, thank god, being a woman. So, skip the male part too. You've also forgotten about Charles de Gaulle being born in Armenia! So they tried to convince me when I was in Kirovakan, some 20 odd years ago!

Sylva

Hi Sylva, sorry this is off topic, but I am also from Kirovakan and I was just there about two months ago. I swear everyone has gone crazy there and the place looks like a gyux now. Who ever you talk to, either they start crying or complaining. I feel so sorry for everyone there. I actually saw two old women fighting with each other in front of a building. The place is so empty and ruined, it's sad. It used to be so nice....

Sulamita,

Just scanning old posts and I want to post anything to get this back on the hot list!

AWESOME! And Sylva's addition about homemade Madzoun is so funny. My grandmother CONSTANTLY has that in the fridge.