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women keeping their maiden name


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#1 nellie

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Posted 27 November 2001 - 02:45 PM

i got into an argument with a few of my guy friends today over this topic. so i'm really interested, "why do women change their last names when they get married?" isn't this just another form of ownership, the man becomes the sole proprietor of his wife?
to me, this is insane. my husband shouldn't expect me to change my last name, my entire identity, and take on his. what's wrong with my own?

#2 MosJan

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Posted 27 November 2001 - 04:03 PM

it has never been a problem for me if the women changes her last names when they get married or not.

Kids staf


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#3 Paul bunyan

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Posted 10 May 2002 - 05:53 AM

How does changing your last name cause
the loss of identity?

"a rose by any other name smells the same"

#4 THOTH

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Posted 10 May 2002 - 07:32 AM

My wife has chosen to keep her maiden name - doesn't bother me in the least. My position - who am I to impose my name on someone else? Actually she has said she would change it if I really wanted her too - but it is a non-issue for me...

#5 khodja

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Posted 10 May 2002 - 09:32 AM

My ex-wife did not change her name when we were married. She did not change it for her first husband either. Her name was her identity and she was proud of it and her parents' accomplishments. I had NO problem with that.

The problem was how she and her family approached my surname and my family background. Although my Armenian surname was associated with great works, that was not the surname we went by. She and her family were not at all concerned with the history of MY family. I was considered beneath them despite my family's glorious past.

So, what is critical is not whether your wife will change her name or not but whether there is atwo-way respect for one another's family.

#6 Paul bunyan

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Posted 10 May 2002 - 12:38 PM

Hmmm, I always thought that when a woman married it was a legal requirement that
she charge her name. I have heard that
its alot easier legalwise, that is for
wifes and children to collect insurance
monies and the husband's property.
if the wife gives up her last name.

#7 koko

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Posted 10 May 2002 - 02:31 PM

My mother kept her last name boodaghian, i assume because its apart of her identity just like her first name and why should she take on her husbands lastname?

[ May 10, 2002, 03:32 PM: Message edited by: koko ]

#8 Sip

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Posted 10 May 2002 - 05:05 PM

I think people make too much fuss about names ... they don't really mean anything anymore. Before they used to represents clans and stuff I guess. I am perfectly happy being known as a number ... as long as it can be proven that it is unique

If two people get married, we may have to take their corresponding numbers and find the Least Common Multiple or something like that. Maybe even multiply it by a specific prime number to make it trully unique. Of course for Armenians, we'll just add 'ian' to the end.

So to answer the question, I don't think names are too important as long as each individual has a unique identifier.

[ May 10, 2002, 06:08 PM: Message edited by: Sip ]

#9 Guest_Fadi_*

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Posted 10 May 2002 - 05:14 PM

quote:
If two people get married, we may have to take their corresponding numbers and find the Least Common Multiple or something like that. Maybe even multiply it by a specific prime number to make it trully unique. Of course for Armenians, we'll just add 'ian' to the end.
And after this, I am accused of bringing math on anything.

#10 Anshnork

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Posted 10 May 2002 - 06:27 PM

Even when women keep their maiden names when they marry, their children tend to use their father's last name. How would the men feel if their children took on their wife's name instead of theirs?

#11 Sip

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Posted 10 May 2002 - 06:31 PM

To clarify, if I were the father, I wouldn't feel any different than if they used "my" last name. I think Thoth also said the same thing (i.e. doesn't matter which name is used).

#12 THOTH

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Posted 12 May 2002 - 01:41 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Sip:
To clarify, if I were the father, I wouldn't feel any different than if they used "my" last name. I think Thoth also said the same thing (i.e. doesn't matter which name is used).

agreed - no big deal....though they do have my last name - my wife never requested otherwise and I think we just assumed they would have my name - though again I am/would always be open to some other way - perhaps even a complete new name altogether. I do like that they have my name however - but I could not easily be worked into a frenzy if someone suggested something different.

#13 Harut

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Posted 12 May 2002 - 10:14 PM

Sip, Thoth, try to explain that to Hagarag who puts too much attention on "family values", last name.

and he is the liberal one.

#14 nellie

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Posted 13 May 2002 - 03:40 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Sip:
If two people get married, we may have to take their corresponding numbers and find the Least Common Multiple or something like that. Maybe even multiply it by a specific prime number to make it trully unique. Of course for Armenians, we'll just add 'ian' to the end.

perhaps the most interesting response i've ever gotten!! Doesn't sound bad at all, Sip.

nellie

#15 Sip

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Posted 14 May 2002 - 05:22 PM

Glad to be of service! I knew there was a reason for taking high school math and algebra all those years (my teachers were telling me that I would need them but I didn't really believe them ... I thought just having 1's and 0's is enough!)

#16 ExtraHye

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Posted 04 July 2007 - 07:10 PM

I think this is a very interesting subject to revisit. I don't understand why guys make a huge deal about women keeping their maiden name. What do you guys think about this?

#17 Sip

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Posted 04 July 2007 - 09:26 PM

I am perfectly happy being known as a num ... hmmm ... nevermind. I guess I already said that. Holy old topic Batman!!!

#18 Azat

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Posted 04 July 2007 - 09:47 PM

i could care less

#19 Shahan Araradian

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Posted 04 July 2007 - 11:41 PM

QUOTE(ExtraHye @ Jul 4 2007, 08:10 PM)
I think this is a very interesting subject to revisit. I don't understand why guys make a huge deal about women keeping their maiden name. What do you guys think about this?

If we're going to ask this question, then we should also ask why offspring must inherit the father's last name?

Imagine the length of last names if both the mother's and father's last names were kept:
+ After 2 generations, each last name would consist of 4 names.
+ After 10 generations (~300 years), each last name would consist of 1024 names! (1024 == 2^10) smile.gif
+ After 20 generations (~600 years), each last name would consist of 1,000,000 names! (~ 2^20)

So it's a practical issue. But in places like the U.S. where women are also professionals then this issue is coming up. At large corporations, it's not uncommon to find hyphenated last names on women, particularly women who are middle managers (and other high-visibility positions)...

In the rest of the world where most women don't have to work, this is a non-issue and women gladly take on the name of their husbands (who wouldn't? your husband's enabling you to not work, and what's taking on his last name?)...

Edited by Shahan Araradian, 04 July 2007 - 11:44 PM.


#20 Sip

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Posted 05 July 2007 - 12:13 AM

QUOTE(Shahan Araradian @ Jul 5 2007, 12:41 AM)
In the rest of the world where most women don't have to work ...


"Don't have to work"? Don't you mean "aren't allowed to work"? Also kind of strange that you split the world into "places like US" and "the rest". Shahan, I often wonder about your rather strange perception of the world. Even in places like China, Japan, Iran, and India that are not much like "the US" women work... and not just because they "have" to.




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