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Why Aren't You Married?


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#1 CheekY

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Posted 17 June 2005 - 05:24 PM

'Stop giving me a hard time about being single'

If you're single, chances are you've been asked the following three questions:

Why aren't you married?
Why aren't you married?
and the very, very popular:
Why aren't you married?
... give or take another 999,999,997 more such questions.

Unfortunately, I can’t fix you up with any cute guys or girls to help you avoid these questions in the future. However, I can fix you up with some good snappy comebacks to fling at anyone who dares to question your single status.

So, next time somebody dares to ask you that “Why aren't you married?” question, pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word; it means “wisely”), and offer up one of the following. Or, just review them for your own personal satisfaction.

1. In the beginning, there were no elliptical trainers or low-fat/high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum. Meaning, the pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances, we can all hope to live to 80. Easy. Meaning? Even if we marry at age 40, that's still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. What's the hurry?

2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Seriously. Even Frankenstein got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.

3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:

* Catwoman: Single.
* Buddha: Single.
* The Lone Ranger: Single.

Actually, virtually all superhero types are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do-Right. And then there’s The Ultimate Superhero: God—also single.

4. Plus, when you think about it, there’s no such thing as a Stepford Single Woman.

5. Why limit myself to being dissatisfied by one relationship when I can be dissatisfied by an infinite variety?

6. It’s interesting how our culture has the expression “happily married,” but no expression “happily single.” And those words are 100% certified by the US Census Bureau. Statistics show that although married men are reported to be happier than single men (surprise, surprise!)—single women are reported to be happier than married women (also a big surprise, surprise!). Meaning? This only furthers the irony that single women are branded as "unhappy” and “lonely” and “loser-esque"—when single women are just boldly holding out for the right situation, rather than getting married just to get married.

7. It's easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year. If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging—like an astrophysicist.

8. True love is rare. That's why it's called "love" and not "really like" or "settling." And why we don't say: "I’m settling for you, honey" over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for…and that’s what I’m doing.


SOURCE: http://msn.match.com...544657&GT1=6657

#2 Sip

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 01:47 PM

Ah yes ... the wisdom of match.com biggrin.gif

I have always thought "happily married" is an oxymoron... something like I am "happily retarded" or I am "happily invalid" ... why else would they have to try to remind themselves and everyone else that they are "happy"? Shouldn't it just show?

#3 Armen

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 01:56 PM

Sip, taking into account your special, kind-hearted attention to this subject I think you have a strong urge to get into serious happy trouble tongue.gif

#4 ExtraHye

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 03:40 PM

QUOTE (Sip @ Jun 18 2005, 11:47 AM)
Ah yes ... the wisdom of match.com biggrin.gif

I have always thought "happily married" is an oxymoron... something like I am "happily retarded" or I am "happily invalid" ... why else would they have to try to remind themselves and everyone else that they are "happy"? Shouldn't it just show?

For a very smart guy, you don't know what your talking about.

#5 MosJan

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 03:52 PM

QUOTE (Sip @ Jun 18 2005, 12:47 PM)
Ah yes ... the wisdom of match.com biggrin.gif

I have always thought "happily married" is an oxymoron... something like I am "happily retarded" or I am "happily invalid" ... why else would they have to try to remind themselves and everyone else that they are "happy"? Shouldn't it just show?



Kartsum em JAmanakn e qez psakelu Super jan smile.gif

du arden Tunn es mnatsel - BAvakan e wink.gif

#6 MosJan

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 03:52 PM

QUOTE (ExtraHye @ Jun 18 2005, 02:40 PM)
For a very smart guy, you don't know what your talking about.



knereq eli smile.gif isk duq yerb eq psakvum ??? hognetsinq spaselov

#7 MosJan

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 03:53 PM

QUOTE (Armen @ Jun 18 2005, 12:56 PM)
Sip, taking into account your special, kind-hearted attention to this subject I think you have a strong urge to get into serious happy trouble  tongue.gif



\


Yete Voch mer General@ smile.gif General jan inch hali es ???

General JAn Tuyl k@taq Dimmel ??? zut andznakan HArtsov ???

#8 MosJan

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 03:54 PM

QUOTE (CheekY @ Jun 17 2005, 04:24 PM)
'Stop giving me a hard time about being single'

If you're single, chances are you've been asked the following three questions:

Why aren't you married?
Why aren't you married?
and the very, very popular:
Why aren't you married?
... give or take another 999,999,997 more such questions.

Unfortunately, I can’t fix you up with any cute guys or girls to help you avoid these questions in the future. However, I can fix you up with some good snappy comebacks to fling at anyone who dares to question your single status.

So, next time somebody dares to ask you that “Why aren't you married?” question, pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word; it means “wisely”), and offer up one of the following. Or, just review them for your own personal satisfaction.

1. In the beginning, there were no elliptical trainers or low-fat/high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum. Meaning, the pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances, we can all hope to live to 80. Easy. Meaning? Even if we marry at age 40, that's still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. What's the hurry?

2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Seriously. Even Frankenstein got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.

3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:

    * Catwoman: Single.
    * Buddha: Single.
    * The Lone Ranger: Single.

Actually, virtually all superhero types are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do-Right. And then there’s The Ultimate Superhero: God—also single.

4. Plus, when you think about it, there’s no such thing as a Stepford Single Woman.

5. Why limit myself to being dissatisfied by one relationship when I can be dissatisfied by an infinite variety?

6. It’s interesting how our culture has the expression “happily married,” but no expression “happily single.” And those words are 100% certified by the US Census Bureau. Statistics show that although married men are reported to be happier than single men (surprise, surprise!)—single women are reported to be happier than married women (also a big surprise, surprise!). Meaning? This only furthers the irony that single women are branded as "unhappy” and “lonely” and “loser-esque"—when single women are just boldly holding out for the right situation, rather than getting married just to get married.

7. It's easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year. If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging—like an astrophysicist.

8. True love is rare. That's why it's called "love" and not "really like" or "settling." And why we don't say: "I’m settling for you, honey" over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for…and that’s what I’m doing.
SOURCE: http://msn.match.com...544657&GT1=6657


HIma inch PSakvum es te voch ?? etpes el chhaskatsa apricot.gif

#9 phantom22

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 03:57 PM

Getting married is very easy, especially if you elope and do it at a resort. Getting divorced, however, is rarely easy.

You can always get married. These days women are having children in their 60's. Charlie Chaplin had children in his 80's. That actor from the "Odd Couple," Tony Randall, had his first child in his late 70's.

Edited by phantom22, 18 June 2005 - 04:03 PM.


#10 Armen

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 04:02 PM

QUOTE (MosJan @ Jun 18 2005, 03:53 PM)
\
Yete Voch mer General@  smile.gif General jan inch hali es ???

General JAn  Tuyl k@taq Dimmel ??? zut andznakan  HArtsov ???


Agheg em, baron qlxavor hramanadar. Ancnagan harc me guzeq tal? Hrameceg xndrem... smile.gif

#11 MosJan

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 04:38 PM

Ulan General - @ese desnam - Badiv@ bid unenanq qugin Bsagin nerga q@tn@velun, chene voch ?? Doctor@ zis @esav te ter 50~60 dari gyanq unem... naye shad jamanak chunim Aggas .. qichig m@ ajabare....


NAyeq Bolorit Asum em Amboj Forumin minchev tarva verch ete dzezanist gone 2@ chpsakven yes norits em psakvum - mexq@ dzer viz@ ha....


PS. iharke nuyn knojs het, pit psakvem

#12 Armen

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 04:49 PM

QUOTE (MosJan @ Jun 18 2005, 04:38 PM)
Ulan General  - @ese  desnam - Badiv@  bid  unenanq  qugin  Bsagin nerga  q@tn@velun,  chene voch ?? Doctor@ zis  @esav  te  ter 50~60 dari  gyanq unem... naye  shad jamanak chunim  Aggas ..  qichig m@  ajabare....


Baron xmbapet, hachord anqam Hayastan ayceles ne anshushd bid bsagvim. I badiv qun aycelutean...Dun miayn esse erb guqas...

#13 ExtraHye

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 09:45 PM

QUOTE (MosJan @ Jun 18 2005, 01:52 PM)
knereq eli smile.gif isk  duq yerb eq  psakvum ??? hognetsinq  spaselov

When you look out the window and see a pig flying. tongue.gif

Edited by ExtraHye, 18 June 2005 - 09:46 PM.


#14 Azat

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Posted 18 June 2005 - 10:53 PM



#15 MosJan

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Posted 19 June 2005 - 04:06 AM

ok extra jan i just looked in to my window and The Pig is Flaying janik smile.gif so wan is it ???
just don;t ask me to shut the pig and bring it to you for wedding BBQ

#16 MosJan

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Posted 19 June 2005 - 04:08 AM

QUOTE (Armen @ Jun 18 2005, 03:49 PM)
Baron xmbapet, hachord anqam Hayastan ayceles ne anshushd bid bsagvim. I badiv qun aycelutean...Dun miayn esse erb guqas...



Kaitan jan smile.gif qez mot lav chi statsvum
aveli mets huys ka Extrayits qan qezanits

Extra jan BBQ/n indz vra

#17 Armine

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Posted 22 June 2005 - 10:04 PM

Ameninch ira jamanake uni smile.gif, dard mi arek

#18 armjan

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Posted 22 June 2005 - 10:26 PM

QUOTE (Azat @ Jun 18 2005, 08:53 PM)


a combination of this picture and the phrase "I'm busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest" has me coming back to this thread for more smile.gif

Edited by armjan, 22 June 2005 - 10:27 PM.


#19 gamavor

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Posted 10 August 2005 - 05:51 PM

smile.gif
QUOTE
Why Aren't You Married?


I will, if I find a lady who has the looks of Valeria Matsa, the attitude of Lady Di and the devotion of Mother Teresa.

Additional bonus points: Speaks fluently Armenian, cooks better than I do, plays chess, tennis and bridge, speaks at least 4 languages, has 10 000 Euro or $ in her bank account, has never been convicted in a felony, misdemeanor or other criminal charges. Never used drugs (even recreational). Have no health problems in her family. Can swim, likes rock, jazz and classical music - tolerates folk (authentic). Doesn't need advice as to what to wear, when to wear and how to wear it. Posses huge (almost unbearable amount of self-confidence). Is willing to have kids. Have no tattoos. Genuine lover who doesn't recognize boundaries when it comes to sex - that is with her husband of course! smile.gif

Wish me good luck! smile.gif

#20 Bakersfieldian

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Posted 10 August 2005 - 07:16 PM

This is a bigger list of demands than Borat had when he went to the dating agency.



What Borat looks for in a girl:

1. Blonde
2. No retardation in family
3. Ploughing experience
(preferably at least one year)
4. Good physique
5. Tight, like a man's ****
6. Nice face
7. Non Jew

Oh, and if she cheat on me, I will crush her.


QUOTE (gamavor @ Aug 10 2005, 11:51 PM)
smile.gif

I will, if I find a lady who has the looks of Valeria Matsa, the attitude of Lady Di and the devotion of Mother Teresa.

Additional bonus points: Speaks fluently Armenian, cooks better than I do, plays chess, tennis and bridge, speaks at least 4 languages, has 10 000 Euro or $ in her bank account, has never been convicted in a felony, misdemeanor or other criminal charges. Never used drugs (even recreational). Have no health problems in her family. Can swim, likes rock, jazz and classical music - tolerates folk (authentic). Doesn't need advice as to what to wear, when to wear and how to wear it. Posses huge (almost unbearable amount of self-confidence). Is willing to have kids. Have no tattoos. Genuine lover who doesn't recognize boundaries when it comes to sex - that is with her husband of course! smile.gif

Wish me good luck! smile.gif





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