14 replies to this topic

[Halys80]

Hello everyone,
Even though I have been following the board for some while now, I decided to register today. There have been some great topics here, and I'd like to add one of my own for discussion.

For the past few years now, I have noticed how Armenian women in general tend to be very catty, jealous, and competitive with one another---if a girl ends up with a nice guy, I have seen women very underhandedly attack her reputation, or her tactics in attracting the guy...even if they are basing it on complete gossip....or the same goes if she happens to dress nicely, or appear a little too confident/outspoken, have a good job/education--basically, if she has anything going in her favor. I have not only seen with girls doing it to other girls---but even with mothers against other girls, especially if their daughters are around the same age.

I know that as humans, we are a competitive bunch. Some of it is natural. But I haven't noticed jealousy to this degree among some of my American or odar friends. Seems like it is a pretty common phenomenon especially among Middle Eastern women---or maybe, that is just my perception.

What do you guys think the reasons are for this? Or if you disagree...

[shiner]

Like you mentioned humans are a very competitive bunch and it's natural. But I think Armenians are a more jelous bunch than average, especially among themselves. On one hand if a famous Armenian arises we are very quick to be proud of him and claim him as our own, but on a lower scale if one Armenian is more successful than the others in a group, it is not uncommon for the others to try to knock him down out of sheer jelousy.

If you are talking about parents doing it to other children so their own children can stand out more, you are right on the money. All immigrants (including Armenians) love using their children as sheer DISPLAYS by which they gain status in their own immigrant circles. That's one reason they are so controlling over their children.

Let's say two older Armenians are talking in a park. One says "my son/daughter is a manager at a firm, the other says my son/daughter is a bigger manager at a bigger firm". The latter is considered superior than the former in the community only through the accomplishment of his kid (but note he himself has not done ANYTHING more than the other). The other does everything in his power to look down on the more successful kid so he won't feel inferior.

This does not happen nearly as much in the younger generations. The above applies more to "old world" folk. But since it is human nature nobody is completely immune to it.

I'm guessing you mention Armenian women as opposed to Armenian men, because women in general are more gossipy and hold grudges longer. Men just buy each other a beer after a fight and everything is back to normal.

[hunny]

Yeah I’m definitely tired of Armenia Everyone hates everyone! They gossip about their neighbors/relatives all the time like they’ve got nothing better to do and hate those who have a bit of success! And they’re way too old fashioned and most of them have no class!
Well, also I don't mean to be mean but maybe it's the ugly "villager" girls/women who are jealous of those who work hard and have a better life while all they can do is gossip and spread rumors!

[Azat]

First as a male I do not hear much of the gossips(thank God)

But I'll be honest in general I thought Armenians did not gossip much or maybe I have lived somewhat a sheltered life. They all seem to talk about "otars" as to how they raise their kids and how they never have dinner together and what not, but at least in our family I have never heard about the kind of gossip that you guys talk about.

HOWEVER. Oh my goodness can Armenian women ever not talk for 5 minutes in a row? All they do is talk all the time non stop.

[Armat]

This thread is definitely inspirational for Ara Baliozian. It has lot of fuel…

[Sip]

For the past few years now, I have noticed how Armenian women in general tend to be very catty, jealous, and competitive with one another---if a girl ends up with a nice guy, I have seen women very underhandedly attack her reputation, or her tactics in attracting the guy...

First of all, welcome to the forum.

Second of all, I am going to venture out and make a guess that the reason for that is you are probably closer to more "Armenians" and that's why you notice that phenomenon more in the "Armenian" circles. Of course I could be wrong ... or it could be that the "odars" aren't as comfortable with you to discuss such things

But in my experience, this is a very common thing ... it gets worse with "bparabputiun". When there is not much to do, people often find ways to gossip to pass time and gossip is only fun if it is done in the forms you describe!

The other thing I would add about the mothers issue is that due to cultural reasons, Armenian parents are much more involved (in general) in their childrens' lives than for example average euro-Americans (once the kids have grown up of course). This is why the gossipping, "cattyness", etc may be more intense among Armenian mothers.

But then again, being a guy, I wouldn't know

[bellthecat]

Mrrreow - what is all this slanderous talk against cats! What you are talking about is not "cattyness", it is "doggyness".

[vava]

Mrrreow - what is all this slanderous talk against cats! What you are talking about is not "cattyness", it is "doggyness".

Easy there Steve... leave Dogs alone.

[Stormig]

And obviously "foxy" isn't right, either. But anything so it doesn't turn into a dog-and-cat fight in here.

[THOTH]

woof woof

[ExtraHye]

Meow!! Meow!!

[THOTH]

Meow!! Meow!!

Pounce!!! Gobble gobble...chew, swallow, slurp, lick lips...mmmm good! LOL

[Stormig]

The other day I saw someone's key chain. It was from some national park and a bear was saying, "Send more tourists!..."
Then, in another line underneath, "The last ones were delicious." LOL...

[DominO]

Easy there Steve... leave Dogs alone.

What are dogs, are they those things with 4 legs, woof woofing all day long, and smelling like shit?

[Stormig]

What are dogs, are they those things with 4 legs, woof woofing all day long, and smelling like shit?

And oddly enough are man's best friend.