30 replies to this topic

[Anileve]

The other day I saw probably one of the most romantic displays of affection and love which has become a rare occurrence. I have to confess I had tears in my eyes. I was at a romantic Italian restaurant and I was facing a table with a group of older people, perhaps in their late 60's to mid 70's, 3 women and two men. One man that caught my eye was an older gentleman perhaps in his 70's, he looked like a true cavalier, dressed in a suit with a tie, glasses and had silver hair. He was exactly how I would have wanted my grandfather to be like, such a refined and intelligent appearance.

Well, after the group handled the check situation, the older man I was "eyeing" got up and slowly walked (his age was reflecting in his speed) around our table towards the coat hanger. He then, took a coat of the hanger and holding it in his hands walked back to their table just as slowly. He stopped by the woman at the end of the table and patiently waited for her to stand up, as she got up he held a coat for her, while putting it on she gave me a quick smile, almost shy yet very happy. He then walked back to the coat hanger and put his own coat on. I was mesmerized watching the old couple as they walked out of the restaurant, she was holding his arm. Such happy couples are such rarity these days, when divorces are almost a natural transition of marriages.

Where is the dedication, commitment and love that couples of older generation used to have. What happened to our fast lifestyle generation? Why are we so quick to throw in the towel?

So my question to you, what do you think is the secret of a successful and loving marriage/relationship? What are the essential components in both partners, where have people of today gone wrong?

[Maral]

The secrets are....
Compromise,Respect and a good senses of humor


ETA...you painted such a touching scenario,warmed my cold little heart

Edited by Maral, 14 December 2005 - 09:58 PM.

[Anileve]

I shared this story with a few other women, it seems like it's the formula to make their soft hearts melt. But Maral jan, I tried to translate it into words as vividly as possible, but you really had to see it. No words can express...

Ok, those are general ingredients, but let us be specific, include scenarios if you can.

I did notice that a sense of humor is a must, it does make things a little more joyful and a little bit lighter. How important is the element of opposite personalities?

[Harut]

well, i can't answer your question, but i've witnessed a very "romantic" elderly couple in action a year ago, and it has stuck with me until now...
a couple in their early 60s, both dressed very elegantly... standing outside of their car in a parking lot of a shopping mall... parked quite far, where there was no cars around them... an opera in full blast... and they were kissing like there was no tomorrow... even today's craziest of the youngsters don't kiss like that... so passionatly...

[Anileve]

Clown.

[_Anka_]

Mutual respect...

[Emil]

I think you made this story up.

[vava]

So chivalry is not lost?

[Azat]

I know you guys are going to call me names after I say this but sex is one of the most important components. and I dont mean just the act of intercourse but love making. It really cures many problems.

[kakachik77]

I think when you concentrate on what you can give rather than receive.
Lowering expectations or rather not expecting demanding anything. It's hard to say though, to each their own. I have been in a good relationship for a year and a half and can't tell you what makes it good.

[Maral]

I know you guys are going to call me names after I say this but sex is one of the most important components. and I dont mean just the act of intercourse but love making. It really cures many problems.

good point...

ok so it's
Compromise,Respect,Sense of humor and sexual compatibility ......

Edited by Maral, 14 December 2005 - 11:32 PM.

[ED]

It really cures many problems.

including headaches

[Sip]

I was at a buffet a couple of years ago sitting at a table with my back to this elderly couple. I had nothing else to do but to eat and listen to their conversations. They looked like the rural types that had probably been married for several decades (I'd guess their ages at 60+ for the woman, and 70+ for the man).

Well, it was more of a one sided conversation with the woman doing most of the talking and with the brief glipmses that I got walking back and forth from the buffet lines, the guy was nodding and agreeing with her.

This all may seem normal and fine except for one thing. The ENTIRE conversation (for the more than 45 mins I was there) was about mashed potatos. I will spare you the details but I think that is a fundamental key to a long lasting relationship ... for a man to be able to sit through 45+ minutes of a lecture on mashed potatos and still be able to hold his food down, smile at his wife, and nod.

[Anileve]

So chivalry is not lost?

No, apparently it's there lingering away with the 70 year olds.

[Anileve]

Mutual respect...

Too simple and too broad, mutual respect alone doesn't create the fire.

[Anileve]

I know you guys are going to call me names after I say this but sex is one of the most important components. and I dont mean just the act of intercourse but love making. It really cures many problems.

I've got a name I want to call you: Sexaholic.

[Anileve]

I think when you concentrate on what you can give rather than receive.
Lowering expectations or rather not expecting demanding anything. It's hard to say though, to each their own. I have been in a good relationship for a year and a half and can't tell you what makes it good.

Actually, this would be the first time I disagree with you. I think a woman must always demand, it makes men more ambitious and prevents them from becoming lazy bums that want to only watch sports and get "comfortable" in the relationship. A year and a half still counts, sometimes in a relationship that short you can find a hundred things that weren't there before and it makes it so good.

Some of my friends are actually having this issue of not being demanding that's why their relationships have gone down the spiral. I have recently advised one of my girlfriends to demand, needless to say they seem to be happier. Go figure.

[Anileve]

This all may seem normal and fine except for one thing. The ENTIRE conversation (for the more than 45 mins I was there) was about mashed potatos.

A woman that can share your passion for food? (Of course in your case a buffet) Oooooh Sip, sounds like your soulmate.

[Takoush]

I know you guys are going to call me names after I say this but sex is one of the most important components. and I dont mean just the act of intercourse but love making. It really cures many problems.

Azat:

Here I will agree with you completely. It makes the love/hate relationship more love than hate. Not only it makes you concentrate more on love; but you won't have time or the desire to argue when you're thinking on a lot of loving and sexual thoughts. Nothing wrong with that. The more the merrier.

Lots of good food, wine, sushi or otherwise, constant laughter and lots and lots of sex and lovemaking; cures a whole lot of things.

I have tried sushi lateley and it tastes wonderful with the right wine. But I have found out that it's becoming expensive.

Edited by Anahid Takouhi, 15 December 2005 - 07:56 AM.

[_Anka_]

The other day I saw probably one of the most romantic displays of affection and love which has become a rare occurrence. I have to confess I had tears in my eyes. I was at a romantic Italian restaurant and I was facing a table with a group of older people, perhaps in their late 60's to mid 70's, 3 women and two men. One man that caught my eye was an older gentleman perhaps in his 70's, he looked like a true cavalier, dressed in a suit with a tie, glasses and had silver hair. He was exactly how I would have wanted my grandfather to be like, such a refined and intelligent appearance.

Well, after the group handled the check situation, the older man I was "eyeing" got up and slowly walked (his age was reflecting in his speed) around our table towards the coat hanger. He then, took a coat of the hanger and holding it in his hands walked back to their table just as slowly. He stopped by the woman at the end of the table and patiently waited for her to stand up, as she got up he held a coat for her, while putting it on she gave me a quick smile, almost shy yet very happy. He then walked back to the coat hanger and put his own coat on. I was mesmerized watching the old couple as they walked out of the restaurant, she was holding his arm. Such happy couples are such rarity these days, when divorces are almost a natural transition of marriages.

Where is the dedication, commitment and love that couples of older generation used to have. What happened to our fast lifestyle generation? Why are we so quick to throw in the towel?

So my question to you, what do you think is the secret of a successful and loving marriage/relationship? What are the essential components in both partners, where have people of today gone wrong?

I don't really know what the secrets are since I've never been married but all I can say is that the above scenario that you described should not surprise anyone. After all, isn't that the way it's suposed to be? Too bad most men today either pretend to be gentlemen in the beginning or they just lack that quality in general.