65 replies to this topic

[CheekY]

why do you care much anyway? you're not gonna make up with him are you? a normal 35yr old man should be able to have a serious committed relationship and not do drugs...that's just what i think... otherwise he's just...lost?

Edited by skittles, 15 February 2004 - 02:48 PM.

[_Anka_]

Thanx guys
I totally agree with you skittles and no I'm not going to see him again.

[Angelina]

Hi Anka

Things do happen in life, but I think everything happens for a reason russian have saying " netu xuda bez dabra" chka charik arands bariki. I consider you should be happy whatever happened now can you imagine if you found that later in life? Just keep working on your education, and the best things will come later in life. I strongly believe in that. And when it comes to age I do not really think age really plays big role if the couples are successfull in their relationship thats what is the most important of course i am not talking about 30-40 yrs older. Don't be disapointed, instead be happy because we all learn from our mstake. "Don't cry because it is over smile because it happened". Take care

[den_wolf]

"Illegal" drugs AND anti-depressants both cause a decrease in sexual drive AND impotency. So next time you consider doing or taking either one, make sure you know the side-effects.

Edited by den_wolf, 15 February 2004 - 11:29 PM.

[_Anka_]

Angelina,
Thanks for the support. I know that I'm still young and that I have my whole life ahead of me but I do care about him and I do feel sorry about how he's living his life.


den wolf,
that's what I thought I dont' do drugs at all. I've tried marijuana twice about 2 years ago but that didn't appeal me at all. I rather have a drink. I don't even smoke cigarettes so I don't have to worry about the side effects.

[hyebruin]

I want to make a distinction between a "player" and a "multimate" (I just made that up) as in someone who sleeps with many other people ...

Though both the player and the multimate sleep with potentially many partners, the player does so often dishonestly and with deviousness, cunning, lieing, and actually also "playing" the necessary games.  A multimate on the other hand, may or may not be a player ... for example a rock star, a pro athlete, or a  professional athlete may be a huge multimate but may not be a player at all as members of the opposite sex may just be throwing themselves at him or her.

My examples of a "multimate" above were of an extreme nature and in real life you obviously will get the total spectrum between the player and the Wilt Chamberlins (claims 20,000 women in his lifetime).

hey hey now!! are you tryin to justify a lifestyle here??? a playa is a playa just like a dog is a dog!!! maybe you or someone else will have a much easier time convincing a naive 20 year old to buy into that b.s.!! but most older mature women don't fall for that!! definitely not!!
whatmore, someone who is suffering from a 'multimate disorder' needs professional help NOT more freakin partners..enough with this pc nonsense!!! polygamy is ILLEGAL in many states...prostitution is ILLEGAL in many states....why is it that being a nasty single dog is 'okay'??? i think what those dogs needs is to spend a night in jail for all their transgressions....hmm i wonder what will take place in that jail cell?? and i don't mean solitary confinement!! yeah!! get a taste of their own medicine!! and feel used and cheap!!

[angel4hope]

i dont think the terminology matters...or how they "play their game" sam game is being played...sex...with more than one person at a given time...hmm sounds weird...but yah...doesnt matter if people are lying about it or just doing it...its being done period! same game, same dogs playing it, not implying that all men are dogs....

at a certain age, its wahtever IMO for a guy to sleep with a girl, then get into another relationship and do the same afterwards...if its a mutual thing-not while hes still with other girl...but when the guy is old enough, then i think he has problems--serious ones

[Stormig]

polygamy is ILLEGAL in many states...prostitution is ILLEGAL in many states....why is it that being a nasty single dog is 'okay'??? i think what those dogs needs is to spend a night in jail for all their transgressions....hmm i wonder what will take place in that jail cell?? and i don't mean solitary confinement!! yeah!! get a taste of their own medicine!! and feel used and cheap!!

It's different for the same reason that bribery is illegal but asking someone to do you a favour is not. Paying a bribe means you are paying someone either to actually do something they are under the obligation to do but won't do so without some bakhsheesh or to do something they shouldn't. On the other hand, asking a favour and having it done or having it turned down is no criminal offense for either party. Then of course there is the place where the line gets thin if not fuzzy - you may have buddies in the establishment to give you a hand or, instead of using money, you may treat the favour-doer to a holiday or present or something, something you perfectly have every right to do to whoever you want - who is going to say what to that? Likewise, prostitution is being decriminalized and in fact legalized in certain countries because there is concensus they are OK and can deal with it - and who is going to say what to that?

[gevo27]

I want to make a distinction between a "player" and a "multimate" (I just made that up) as in someone who sleeps with many other people ...

Though both the player and the multimate sleep with potentially many partners, the player does so often dishonestly and with deviousness, cunning, lieing, and actually also "playing" the necessary games. A multimate on the other hand, may or may not be a player ... for example a rock star, a pro athlete, or a professional athlete may be a huge multimate but may not be a player at all as members of the opposite sex may just be throwing themselves at him or her.

My examples of a "multimate" above were of an extreme nature and in real life you obviously will get the total spectrum between the player and the Wilt Chamberlins (claims 20,000 women in his lifetime).

Sip, i understand what you are trying to argue here, and in a very very very very far away sense, i might agree to some of it. But, your gonna have to make better examples, as you said your examples are extreme, but we know how real life plays. Its easy to say, hard to act that way. For a guy to be a player, or a "multimate", there is only one difference as i see it. The multimate person tries to justify what he is doing, as the player knows what hes doing is wrong. Even if you were to contrast this issue with moral relativism, instead of absolute truth, then still even according to what our general cultural moral code is today, it is still wrong.

Basically you have a lot to explain before i can see the distinction between the 2 as more than an excuse.

[hyebruin]

based on my observation both directly and indirectly there is an age limit to all this nonsense!! and it is the same age where the male sex drive starts to 'plateau' (notice i didn't say go downhill!! ) ...and that happens at 25!! so if after 25 and especially after 30 or even more shockingly 35!! this 'attitude' or 'mentality' continues, i will not hesistate and will label it as another mental pathologic state!!! people need to grow up sometime! otherwise there is a well known word we use for such a group! it's called "retard"...if a man by a certain age can't figure out what the hell he wants from life maybe he should seclude himself, practice abstinence(since all that meaningless sex just makes 'em harder and dumber!), meditate a bit, find his place in this world, look at life collectively or holistically, and figure out what the heck is going on around him/with him!!
and women need to stay away from these losers as soon as they figure out what these 1/2wits are all about!! there's a whole breed of these idiots out there and the sooner we kick them out of our mental pool of available men, the happier we will be!!---these "men" (and i use that term very loosely!!) are the way they are because a lot of women out there allow this kind of nonsense to go on!!!---it's NOT 'love' and 'love' will not "change" his ways...instead it will make them more arrogant and more selfish!! until of course they come into contact with someone like myself!! who will make them bow down!! --cardinal rule: if a 'man' does not act like a man, he does not deserve to be treated like a man--only REAL MEN have this rare privilege!! and it's about time we put this in practice and weed out the losers!!

[Sip]

All I am saying is that there is the type of guy that women just throw themselves at him for various reasons. He doesn't have to lie or play or anything ... he just gets chicks and doesn't necessarily have to do or say anything "dishonest".

[Anonymouse]

All I am saying is that there is the type of guy that women just throw themselves at him for various reasons. He doesn't have to lie or play or anything ... he just gets chicks and doesn't necessarily have to do or say anything "dishonest".

Ditto. I've personally seen this type of guy when I was in 9th grade, I'd wonder why all the chicks would flock to the jock in 12th grade that obviously had a nice car.

[hyebruin]

aaahhh how we manage to stray from the topic at hand!!! it was about ARROGANT LOSERS!! not "pretty boys" with hot cars and cash!!~~~we all know the obvious, that is NOT what i was referring to!!--you cleverly dogged the topic! very clever indeed!

the more i get to know "men", the more turned off i get....

[_Anka_]

Too bad that these "loosers" don't know that they're LOOSERS! I guess they forget that in a few years or so when they start getting gray hair no one is really going to look at them anymore. So I'm sure that later in life when they will have no one to do laundry and cook for them they'll look back and regret a lot of things. Oh well..........

[_Anka_]

I was only reffering to Armenian men ...

[Anonymouse]

aaahhh how we manage to stray from the topic at hand!!! it was about ARROGANT LOSERS!! not "pretty boys" with hot cars and cash!!~~~we all know the obvious, that is NOT what i was referring to!!--you cleverly dogged the topic! very clever indeed!

the more i get to know "men", the more turned off i get....

I have only one personality and it's too dry to even make me an asshole. I'm more along the lines of an overly enthusiastic critic at the fringes of borderline reality.

For record purposes, I have no nice car, and no money, no good stylin' clothes except my black shirt I have on, not even a smile, just some book knowledge, therefore not much to be arrogant about.

[gevo27]

I have only one personality and it's too dry to even make me an asshole. I'm more along the lines of an overly enthusiastic critic at the fringes of borderline reality.

For record purposes, I have no nice car, and no money, no good stylin' clothes except my black shirt I have on, not even a smile, just some book knowledge, therefore not much to be arrogant about.

you dont need to have anything to be arrogant about it.. you can be arrogant about your attitude, and you can be arrogant in the sense of how you look down to other people (metaphorically speaking ) So i dont know, im not saying anyones i arrogant or not, but merely that you can sure be arrogant, even with a 1985 toyota corrola or whatever.. lol.. i dont think its all about the materialistic aspects of life, but also in the scoiological and emotional aspects also.. does that makes sens??? lol

[hyebruin]

you dont need to have anything to be arrogant about it.. you can be arrogant about your attitude, and you can be arrogant in the sense of how you look down to other people (metaphorically speaking ) So i dont know, im not saying anyones i arrogant or not, but merely that you can sure be arrogant, even with a 1985 toyota corrola or whatever.. lol.. i dont think its all about the materialistic aspects of life, but also in the scoiological and emotional aspects also.. does that makes sens??? lol

yes it makes perfect sense! though material things do tend to have an ego inflating effect, but you are right gevo! i've known people who have nothing to offer, (and yes! i'm not just singling men out here, women do this too!!) but act like they're something 'special'...what i think is special and what is sooo lacking in this society is a little thing called humility, being humble, being gracious, being respectful and mindful of one's words and actions and their consequences on the environment and on other people...but of course in a world where britney spears and jennifer lopez are the headline grabbrs and sex appeal and promiscuity are valued more than morals and virtues , what else do you expect??
arrogance comes through in many ways...it's a way of being, and it sure is a great mask to wear when one does not want the world to see his or her true self...

[bellthecat]

what i think is special and what is sooo lacking in this society is a little thing called humility, being humble, being gracious, being respectful and mindful of one's words and actions and their consequences on the environment and on other people...

True, very true.

[angel4hope]

I was only reffering to Armenian men ...

well sad, becasue this is not just in armenian men...im sure there are men in other races that are far worse...

i myself prefer armenian men over nything else--t obe honest here--nothing is bettwer than your own people---and anka-if im not mistaken--dont forget that youre armenian too--when your putting down armenian men in general -youre also puttin down your dad, your male relatives,brothers if u have any--thats just sad....well thats all my opinion--you can take it or leave it--but its sad to say that--i think armenian men are far better tha other men--at least the ones i know--