31 replies to this topic

[nairi]

Every Armenian home I've been to so far (from family to other), I've heard people raise their voice.

I'm comparing this with my Dutch neighbors. We never hear them. Ever! I'm sure they have arguments, but we just don't hear them. So what is it about Armenian families that we feel the need to raise our voice to communicate?

In my case, it's pure irritation. They annoy me. So I raise my voice, then they raise theirs, then I raise mine further, next thing you know we're screaming at each other.

But I have never, ever, had this happen with non-Armenians. Sure we might argue sometimes, but we keep it down! Because we don't irritate each other to that extent, I guess.

[Azat]

Nairi jan, I can only think of one time when anyone raised their voice in our household. no joke. I am not saying that we have not argued or anything, but yelling a screaming just does not happen. Unless you count the times when me and my sister were kids and we would fight over dumb things. And I am talking about 25-30 years ago

[Nakharar]

I always ask myself why we always lose our temper for even insignificant things. Then there are those who want to misunderstand the other person at every step and try to find other meanings. Maybe it has to do with our "tribal" mindset. Or maybe it stems from our insecurity of living as a minority in foreign lands. We cling to each other desperately in order to withstand the inevitable tide of assimilation and have to deal with its consequences.

[Anileve]

We are very warm people. With wamth comes emotionalism.

[kakachik77]

Italians raise their voices a lot when they argue, it's a bit cultural however sometimes when you raise voices and let things out it is better than supressing your anger which can cause heart attack etc.

[nairi]

Glad to hear there are some sane Armenians out there, Azat jan.

Nakharar, I think it's a middle-eastern cultural thing. Sadly we've adopted it, or maybe it's simply native to us.

Anileve, that's no excuse.

Kakachik, I think we make each other angry. Other people who don't raise their voices don't feel the need to raise their voice because they are discussing or arguing with someone who doesn't make them angry. The kind of Armenians that I have seen/heard have a talent in wanting to argue. It's almost like being nice to each other is something to be ashamed of.

[vava]

Maybe we're just sensitive!

Actually it's funny - i've noticed that we get more irritated (and aggravated) over little insignificant things than we do very important things. We tend to be stronger/cooler when facing grave situations, but minor annoyances bring out the worst in us...

[Anileve]

Anileve, that's no excuse.

Nairi, you are absolutely right, it's no excuse. However 'tis the reason, whether it's ethical or not is another story. Notice how people from Northern European nations are so composed, they are also cold.

[Anileve]

Actually it's funny - i've noticed that we get more irritated (and aggravated) over little insignificant things than we do very important things. We tend to be stronger/cooler when facing grave situations, but minor annoyances bring out the worst in us...

I think that's the way it should be. In grave situation composure is absolutely necessary, because the consequences are greater. If you are hot tempered in tragedies you are bound to make critical moves that may be very irrational and injurious.

[Harut]

i don't think it is anything specific to armenians or has anything to do with armenian "reality", though it is very common among armenians. i think it is just a social trend... offsprings learn from the parents and so it continutes...

[dianjan]

Italians raise their voices a lot when they argue, it's a bit cultural however sometimes when you raise voices and let things out it is better than supressing your anger which can cause heart attack etc.

I agree with you. We are very emotional people. Most of my non-Armenian friends describe me as being very "warm blooded" and emotional. I have to admit that I yell a lot, but I am calm in a matter of seconds.

[kakachik77]

let's just say "we are less civilized" than North-Western Europeans and end this thread right here

I've heard this same argument about Russians, that when they talk they are literally always arguing with each other, at least that's how it reaches to the foreigners' ears. So, this is not unique to any culture or region.

[shiner]

Another interesting thing is how in some cultures showing emotion (esp. anger) is a sign of weakness and not being able to handle yourself.

[Armen]

I think it is good that there are different cultures, different temperaments and different everything else, without which this world would be one boring place. Italians have always been very emotional and every time you hear them talk it is as if they fight and argue. Who would dare call them uncivilized? Maybe this temperament helped them to produce a culture that many northern european nations envy and admire.

[nairi]

I'm not sure if it's about civilization or not, but when I start raising my voice (esp. with relatives), I'm pretty angry, and that's not a nice feeling.

[Azat]

Nairi jan, you need to move to SoCal where the ocean breezes and the sounds of waves make everyone calm. Then you wake up and realize that is the SoCal of dreams.

No but very really I will allow my emotions to take over me and this is in all situations. And I do have to say that that is a BAD thing. Sometimes one must let go. I am not saying that raising ones voice is the solution to resolving any issue, but why not be emotional when expressing yourself.

BTW: i personally do not think Northern Europeans a ANY better than any other culture/nationality out there. in every aspect of life. Believe me as you know Nairi jan, they have MANY issues as well.

[DominO]

This is not Armenian proper, but region proper. We are boiling blooded. I don't think we're worst, if compared with the Italians.

[Anonymouse]

We are very warm people. With wamth comes emotionalism.

Agreed. It's a mediterranean phenomenon and I don't think you'd see some of the Nordic folks in the cold north exhibit that trait.

[Anileve]

Agreed. It's a mediterranean phenomenon and I don't think you'd see some of the Nordic folks in the cold north exhibit that trait.

Absolutely. But I have a hard time classifying Chinese. They are very composed, and less emotional however, when they communicate with each other it sounds as if they are completely enraged.

And nairi, I was thinking about what you wrote. I am the same way. It starts off with just a discussion, then one raises her voice and so do I and so does she and then we are both just yelling on top of our lungs. And it's not that I lose my temper and start yelling automatically, in fact you will never see that. But in order for the other person to hear me I have to elevate my voice, and so it goes. I really dislike that, because my throat starts hurting after some time, don't people know that I am a smoker?

[Nané]

1. saretsi enq

2. we like to speak, rather than listen (and this is due to the fact that we all think we know more about a given topic than the person in front of us)