Temel Jokes

This is dedicated to my childhood friend (Huseyin Tufan) who now lives in Izmir. We shared these stories as children.

Temel is a fictional character from the Trabzon are of the Karadiniz (Black Sea) region. Some Armenians in Turkey claim that Temel jokes are in reality Armenian adopted by other Turks. But, nonetheless, they are still quite popular even now.

ONE OF TEMEL'S DIMMER MOMENTS...

To Armenians who can speak and understand Turkchiye:

Bir gun Temel, bir ingiliz ve bir Fransiz ile bir tren yolculuguna chikmish. Oglen vakti hepsi chantalarindan sandvichlerini cikarmishlar. ingiliz, "benim karim, sandvichimi her zaman ozel ingiliz peyniri ile yapar; bashka peynir varsa, ben kendimi trenin camindan atarim" denis. Sandvichi bir acikmis. ichinde Hollanda peyniri var. Kendini camdan dishari atmish. Biraz sonra Fransiz acikmish. O da, ayni shekilde, "benim karim hayatta rokfordan baska peynir koymaz, koyduysa ben de kendimi atarim" demish. Sandvichi bir achmis ki ne gorsun, tuzsuz koy peyniri! O da atmish tabii kendini. Derken sira Temel'e gelmish. Temel de kendi kendine "bu geri zekalilar da karilarini hic tanimiyorlarmish. Bizim Fadime hayatta beyaz peynirden baska peynir koymaz. Eger koymushsa ben de kendimi atarim" demish. Ve sandvichi achar achmaz ne gorsun: kashar peynirli! Atmish tabii kendini. Kocalarinin olumunden dolayi koyde buyuk yas tutan kadinlar, surekli aglayip dovunmeye bashlamishlar Yalniz ichlerinden Fadime, oole durup, kis kis guluyormush. Millet yanina gelmish, "yahu Fadime, sen deli misin, kocan oldu sen guluyorsun" demishler. Fadime cevap vermish: "Uzgun olmasina uzgunum tabii ama, bizimki biraz pisi pisine gitti....Temel sandvichlerini hep kendisi hazirlardi..."

One day Temel, an Englishman, and a Frenchman take off on a train journey. And when lunch time rolls around, they all put out their sandwich bags.

The Englishmen is first to speak. "My wife always puts a very special English cheese in my sandwiches. If this sandwich has any other cheese, I'll throw myself out the window of this speeding train..." he says. With that he opens his sandwich and finds it heaped with very special cheese--from Holland. And he throws himself out the window of the train to his death.

A little later, the Frenchman gets hungry. And, in the same manner as the Englishman, he says, "In my whole life, my wife never puts anything but Roquefort cheese on my sandwiches. If she put something else on this one, I'll also throw myself out the window." So he opens his sandwich and what does he see...? It's filled with saltless village cheese! And, of course, he too throws himself out the window of the speeding train--with the same result as the Englishman.

And then it's Temel's turn. And he says to himself, "These mental retards don't know their wives at all. My Fadime, in her whole life, never uses anything but good old Turkish White Cheese on sandwiches. If she did otherwise on this one, I too will throw myself out the window." And when he opens his sandwich? Yup, it's filled with Turkish Kashar Cheese! And yes...he throws himself out the window to this death--like the others.

In the village, due to the death of the husbands, all the women set to mourning--with continuous crying and beating of chests.

All except Fatime, that is...who stands off, and laughs silently to herself.

When the crowd see this, they all gather round and one of them says, "Hey, Fadime, have you gone crazy? Your husband is dead, and you stand there laughing...?"

Fadime manages to pull herself together for a moment to answer, "Oh, I'm unhappy, of course..Our men died in a rather bad way...It's just that...Well, Temel always made his own sandwiches..."

Who is this guy? Have you lost your mind?