QUOTE(Ani777 @ Aug 14 2007, 03:35 PM)
I do not consider myself a relationship expert at all, but let me notice, most of the people who discuss this topic are not married or have kids...
People DO change in time...
Anonimouse, are you the same person with the same habbits that you were lets say 10 years ago?
I am positive you are not...Everything around us has great effect on the personality we develop, things that seem impossible to do when we're 18 become a regular chore at 25...The point i am trying to make is that after we have kids and family, some of the wishes and desires become secondary (that includes farting,
.. etc, and that makes us change our personality (or our lifestyle maybe)...
I see your point..There ARE women that act "my way or No way"...But most women try to do what is better for their family, if that includes asking their husband to come home earlier that 3 in a morning, i would not call it "inner drive to change a man" ...
I might be wrong...Who knows...
This is a good post, however, it does not relate to what I am saying.
Our change overtime as individuals has about as much to do with relationships and compromise as Popeye has to do with Turkish and Israeli denial of the Armenian genocide.
Nor am I denying that kids change the relationship, period. In fact, almost everyone I talk to says that after children, their relations change, especially sexually. However, this to me would indicate a certain asterisk in life. What you do for your kids, whose lives depend on you since you brought them into this world, would be a bit of different compromise, than your cliche husband/wife yells and demands.
And please don't misunderstand my position. I know full well that most relationships overtime do have arguments and many of them petty that revolve around stupid things. For example, Husband Bob does not like the fact that his wife does not stay home all the time to cook and clean. She does as much as she can, but she prefers the career as well. Husband Bob should not be angry at Wife Betty for who she is. Husband Bob should have known this from the beginning and realized what he is getting himself into and if he didn't like that he should have avoided Wife Betty. After 4 years of marriage, it would be stupid, childish, selfish and uncalled for for Husband Bob to sit there, complain to his wife about her lifestyle that you cannot have a career and a family at the same time, and make arguments over this. At this point, he shouldn't try to change her, so much as accept her for who she is. Otherwise, why be with that person at all? He should just get a divorce.