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Im with armenian and I simply don't understand, please help!


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#21 Arpa

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Posted 06 February 2013 - 01:33 PM

Dear Polish girl, we love you.
Have you searched to see that he does not have a wife and children back in Yerevan?
There are many such stories. I mean STORIES.

#22 PolishGirl

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Posted 06 February 2013 - 01:37 PM

he said to me that he moved to his sister house because he wanted saved some money for our wedding but anyway he sent everything tohis family so I guess the reason was saving money for family.
No, we don't live together, I live in my own house 2 minutes walk from him. But I go to see his sister from time to time for little chat, bring some cakes just be closer.
He is forced to leave because he was here 5 years and now in April his contract is over so he will not get visa anymore.
I was planing to go with him for few months but he doesn't want me to go , he said that it can be dificul for me being there, and he is not gonna find job that quick to provide life for me his mother and his father all.
I was thinking he can be back after few months. cause I was planing to open company and hire him or some friends could.
but he seems like if we don't get marry till june and he will gone we are not gonna be together.... Idon't know why he thinks so...

#23 PolishGirl

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Posted 06 February 2013 - 01:39 PM

Dear Arpa,
no I havnt...Becaus I did belive him, in his words...maybe Im too naive????

#24 Nané

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Posted 06 February 2013 - 07:04 PM

Polish Girl,

This whole story sounds more and more shady as you reveal more facts. If he really loves you, there is no logical reason for him not to want you in Armenia with him. If he wants to marry you, he MUST want his family to meet you. It is evident that the relationship you guys have is not serious for him whatsoever. If he's pushing for you guys to get married - it could very well be what Arpa is talking about - he must want to legalize his status in Poldan through marriage. I really don't know what else to say. You must open your eyes and see reality! Or, if you don't want to - continue fooling yourself.

#25 man

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 12:49 AM

Hi everybody,
I have problem and I need advice


Dear nice Polish Girl:
This may hurt you a bit but its true and applies to most Armenian males from Armenia,

where still honor, decency and nobility are of paramount important when it comes to marriage. "He"

will marry only a virgin, if you had sex with somebody else other than himself then you are no more eligible to

be his wife. "She" should and must be a VIRGIN, period. You may qualify to be his lover but never his wife if he is not

the one who took your virginity. In your case both he and his sister are being polite with you but you will go no far

with them so stop chasing him and find you a nice Catholic Polish man to marry and have children with. If he marries

you he will live the rest of his life in SHAME, SHAME, and SHAME because he married a none-virgin girl. In Armenia,

when they merry, after the nuptial nigh he or member of his family must hung the blood stained white sheet from outside

the door of the house for everybody to see the blood of defloration on the sheet otherwise SHAME, SHAME, and SHAME

would be on the whole family.

If he does not already have a wife and children in Armenia then his mother & father already have a nice Armenian VIRGIN 100%

(those kind can be found only in Armenia in 21st century) waiting for him to merry. Of course it does not apply to Armenians living in America.



Do a more research and google: Ara and Samiramis. Those two were historical figures, Ara an Armenian and Samiramis a foreigner

(definitely not a virgin) who was after Ara to merry with. Ara would not have part with her and for that she killed him. So give up, Armenians prefer

to be killed than merry a foreign whore. Are you ready to be a murderer?


#26 PolishGirl

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:21 AM

Firstly Im not a whore,
Secondly Im not catholic and imnot looking for catholic boy, we are both protestants.
Thirdly just from biological point of view(maybe you don't know) not all women bleed after their first time thought are VIRGIN like you said. here you are http://kinseyconfide...lost-virginity/

Believe me if I learn that this is the reason I wouldnt think twice and left behind this kind of man. Thinking this way is abnormal.
I dont think that they still practising this ritual in Armenia.

I spoke with his sister and she said that it was long time ago that they did such thing but not anymore. Even his sister lives with her armenian "husband" without marry more than 15 years.

If you come to live in foreign country and you learn its culture and you intentionally go into relationship with foreigner you have to realise that it will be different and ther's many changes to come.
I f Iwent to Armenia and livd there for long time I would learn culture and wouldnt be surprisse.
So he knew he's going to be with non-armenian. he had many polish women before so he learnt also the culture.

We are also waiting for papers from Armenia that will let him get marry (that he has non wife over there) , in POland you must have this paper otherwise you cant get marry.

#27 PolishGirl

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:22 AM

but if I discover that this what you wrote is true I will have no doubts to leave anymore...

#28 Sip

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:16 AM

He is sending you very very strong signals to leave him. Some men don't have the guts to break up ... sometimes you have to do it. It's for the best. This guy sounds like a total loser.

#29 man

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:57 AM

Im not a whore,

I dont think that they still practising this ritual in Armenia.
------------------
Firstly that whorish phrase was not directed to you dear Polish Girl but to historical woman Samiramis, I should have made that clear. Nevertheless I was trying to show you how sometimes males view the other sex and was not stating that it applied to you as I am AGAINST any personal attack or defamation. This forum runs from America in California and most members (including me) are from USA now, so the standard of upholding human rights is high in America.
As to "still practising" yes you are right, specially in Yerevan, it is not practised but the mentality is still there everywhere and in some rural areas the stained white sheet with blood should be shown and is still shown.
If you love each other and he realiy loves you then I think you should get married against all odds because love comes first, just put your love to some tests to see if its real. Good luck and God Bless!

#30 PolishGirl

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 03:26 AM

Well now your message is clear..I understood it wrong before...
What kind of test do you mean? Could you advice me some?

And if I can ask...how you armenian men show your feelings and love to girl if you trully love her?

Like I said my man is 11 years older he is 33 ... but he is bit cold especially when there's his fmily members.... how it work in your cuture?
He hug me somethimes and kiss but more he treats me like an old wife after 15 years marriage.... well maybe it's my personal thinking ;/

#31 man

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 06:10 AM

You must not have or show "pity" - men do not like that, compassion yes but not pity.
If you love personally then compassion should be part of your love but not your prime motivation
like wanting to merry because you just have compassion. Love is more than that.

More in the sence that both the bells inside your heart and inside his, will ring at the same time. Then your relionship
should be harmonious and you should like the same things and would like doing the same things. If the bells in your heart ring
but his does not, well you have to wait till it does, if not then you better look for another heart that rings when you meet.

"Kissing" among eastern Armenians, even among opposite sexes, is a form of salut like shaking the hands when you meet someone, the Polish men
kiss the hand of female, we kiss on the cheek and few times on lips, so if you see your man kissing another female he is just sayng hello to her and he is
glad to see her, this does not mean he wants to go in bed with her. And if you see two Armenian females holding hands this does not mean they are lesbians but
rather good friends. Friendship is important to Armenians so start first being just a friend with your future husband and know each other better so that your marriage
is not a mistake. He will hate it in future when you confront him saying that he owns it to you because by merrying him you did him a favor to legalize his situation in Poland. That would be a bad blow to most men so do not bring it up, let him bring it up.

We Armenian men like to be the hunter going after the female or looking for a female to merry. we do not like it the other way around, that is the female hunting for us and pursuing us.

If we love a female and want to merry her then we will not show it in public but in private and in intimate moments because we take for granted that she loves us and she is depentant on us,and we are certain that she would play her role like a "servant" in the family house, this is very important to us --each has his and her role to play in the family, there is no mixing of duties. For example wife does all the cleaning.

There will be a period of engangment to see if we really are made for each other but no sex because sex spoils the relionship just huging, ebracing and peting.
This is a period to see if two different minds are able to function together.

As to TESTS...I am not expert in this, let me see: if he gives his word to you then go after other girls then that is bad news. Same for you, if you give your word then go after other men.
Another test: you pretent you are sick, stay in bed, forget about your make-up and hair-do and look really ugly, so you call him to buy a bunch of roses and bring it to you. When he comes and see you like that ugly and miserable --notice what his reaction would be!
So tests are like that to see how strong is your love to each other because your love could be an illusion, fake, something momentarly that comes & goes.

If you are a protestant then you should have a Bible with you, so start reading regularly each day the New Testament and pray to your Lord Jesus Christ to direct you to passages you need, and to send you His angels for help.

#32 Arpa

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 06:22 AM

Dear nice Polish Girl:
This may hurt you a bit but its true and applies to most Armenian males from Armenia,

where still honor, decency and nobility are of paramount important when it comes to marriage. "He"

will marry only a virgin, if you had sex with somebody else other than himself then you are no more eligible to

be his wife. "She" should and must be a VIRGIN, period. You may qualify to be his lover but never his wife if he is not

the one who took your virginity. In your case both he and his sister are being polite with you but you will go no far

with them so stop chasing him and find you a nice Catholic Polish man to marry and have children with. If he marries

you he will live the rest of his life in SHAME, SHAME, and SHAME because he married a none-virgin girl. In Armenia,

when they merry, after the nuptial nigh he or member of his family must hang the blood stained white sheet from outside

the door of the house for everybody to see the blood of defloration on the sheet otherwise SHAME, SHAME, and SHAME

=====

Since it came to the subject above, let us revisit this thread;
http://hyeforum.com/...5&hl=apple&st=0

#33 Arpa

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:39 AM

Since it came to the subject above, let us revisit this thread;
http://hyeforum.com/...5&hl=apple&st=0

And as we are talking about it, see where the tradition came from;
http://www.logodesig...-apple-logo.jpg

http://upload.wikime...Art_Project.jpg

Edited by Arpa, 07 February 2013 - 07:47 AM.


#34 PolishGirl

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 08:24 AM

I can read this tradition died in 18th century....

I can see that there's non one model of man being ;)

Here Dear Member you are writing that women stuff=women stuff no sharing duties, and another armenian saidthat they do help and it's nothing strange. I think it depends on childhood background?
I do understan your point of view but as I said before...when you go to be with non armenian who grew up in completely different culture and she saw competely different modl of family and you want to live in such country and settle your life there you have to accept also some changes. am I wrong?
it's like im going to Armenia and try to rule my rules from my country over there ppl...no making much sense.if we take decision we have to also take it in responsible way.You see it was him who came to my life and stole my heart I didnt run after him, in the beggining even didnt want him at all.

I do pray every each day and read Bible...I have my personal reationship with Lord Jesus Christ. But in Bible i cant find any info about armenian guys :D
so I came over here to "have a look" if I can learn something from you guys.
Many things you said are helpful , thank you for that.

I try to be good woman for my manlike Bible says but there's also verse in Bible :
Although men and women in a relationship with Christ are equal, yet Scripture gives specific roles that each plays in marriage. The husband should manage leadership in the home (1 Corinthians 11.3; Ephesians 5.23). Leadership should not be dictatorial, condescending and patriarchal terms for his wife, but should reflect the example of Christ leading the church. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word" (Ephesians 5.25-26). Christ loved the church (His people) with compassion, mercy, forgiveness, respect, and self denial. In the same way husbands should love their wives.

Yes women should take care of husband and be obey but there should be also no selfishness in men heart....
With regard to the division of responsibilities in the home, the Bible teaches that men used to protect the family financially. This means that they are working and earning to be duly provided with the needs of their wives and children. Do not fill out this duty has its spiritual implications. "But if any provide not for his own, especially with family members no effort, that denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5.8). Thus, if a man does not make any effort to secure his family financially, then illegally called a Christian. This does not mean, however, that the wife can not support this process, supply-Proverbs 31 shows, fearing that she might like to do the most-but not the supply of the family is its main duty, but her husband. While the man should help the kids and running the house (including filling his duty to love his wife), a verse from Proverbs 31 says clearly that taking care of the house is the main area of its commitment and responsibility. Even if you have to lie down to sleep late and get up early in the morning, the good of the family is the most important duty. This is not an easy way of life for many women-especially in Western societies prosperity. Too many women are emotionally exhausted, on the edge of their abilities. To protect them from such stress, both women and men need to prayerfully re-prioritize and follow the death of the biblical instructions regarding the respective roles in life.
Conflicts with responsibilities in the marriage will occur, but if both spouses remain in submission to Christ, the conflicts will be minimal. If the couple on the ground frequently and rapidly arguing or bickering seem to poróżniać spouses, the problem concerns the nature of the spiritual. In this case, the spouses should especially entrust again in prayer and obedience to Christ, and then to each other in love and respect.

So I just believe that if you love your wife as your own body (as Bible says) it shouldnt be lack of honor if you help her and the same with wife if she helps earn money for family members???????? what do you think?????

#35 Yervant1

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:34 AM

Dear Polish girl, you say you may be naive but I disagree, you're not naive nor blinded by love even though you are deeply in love with this man. All the observations that you're making is proof that you are seeing things clearly for what they are. In my humble opinion you are in denial, you know clearly what is wrong with this situation but hoping very much that you are wrong. This is what you wrote in one of your posts and I'm quoting ( Posted 05 February 2013 - 12:37 PM
The worst thing is that when I asked him if he will be faithful to me his answer is... "I dont know",) if this is not enough reasons for you to get away from it, than you deserve everything that is coming your way. Sorry for being blunt!

#36 Arpa

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:18 AM

 
If you are both Protestants then you must know these passages from the Bible, which is what you are doing. i.e kicking against the needle.
Acts.9
[5] And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.
Acts.26
[14] And when we were all fallen to the earth, I heard a voice speaking unto me, and saying in the Hebrew tongue, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? it is hard for thee to kick against
And, as to a (Catholic)Pole and an Apostolic Armenian being Protestant may be the ultimate oxymoron.
Please don’t take the above phrase to heart, as I being of that persuasion myself have been derided by kin and foreigners alike, yet, have you guessed how and why I know so much about the Bible? Which so called Apostolics here , the “First Christians” (don't) know the Bible as I and you do? Yes, yes I know they know the proper way of how to cross their faces and light (pagan) candles. I don’t.
Some Armenians call them “porot/borot” (porot-estan) which also means leper. Search the Forum and see references to “porot/borot”.
See # 164 here where Raffi was named so.

http://hyeforum.com/index.php?showtopic=22833&st=160#entry288392
PS> This is not to say that some Protestant Armenians are any less hypocritical liars and opportunistic..
I DON’T LIE. Take my word for it. :goof:. Yes I do. “white lies“. “jester:


#37 Arpa

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:38 AM

Not to forget this highly hateful, xenophobic and ignorant idle gobble gobble.

http://hyeforum.com/...topic=7028&st=0


http://hyeforum.com/...220#entry248406

Edited by Arpa, 07 February 2013 - 11:48 AM.


#38 Arpa

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:06 PM

I can read this tradition died in 18th century....

I can see that there's non one model of man being ;)

Here Dear Member you are writing that women stuff=women stuff no sharing duties, and another armenian saidthat they do help and it's nothing strange. I think it depends on childhood background?
I do understan your point of view but as I said before...when you go to be with non armenian who grew up in completely different culture and she saw competely different modl of family and you want to live in such country and settle your life there you have to accept also some changes. am I wrong?
it's like im going to Armenia and try to rule my rules from my country over there ppl...no making much sense.if we take decision we have to also take it in responsible way.You see it was him who came to my life and stole my heart I didnt run after him, in the beggining even didnt want him at all.

I do pray every each day and read Bible...I have my personal reationship with Lord Jesus Christ. But in Bible i cant find any info about armenian guys :D
so I came over here to "have a look" if I can learn something from you guys.
Many things you said are helpful , thank you for that.

I try to be good woman for my manlike Bible says but there's also verse in Bible :
Although men and women in a relationship with Christ are equal, yet Scripture gives specific roles that each plays in marriage. The husband should manage leadership in the home (1 Corinthians 11.3; Ephesians 5.23). Leadership should not be dictatorial, condescending and patriarchal terms for his wife, but should reflect the example of Christ leading the church. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word" (Ephesians 5.25-26). Christ loved the church (His people) with compassion, mercy, forgiveness, respect, and self denial. In the same way husbands should love their wives.

Yes women should take care of husband and be obey but there should be also no selfishness in men heart....
With regard to the division of responsibilities in the home, the Bible teaches that men used to protect the family financially. This means that they are working and earning to be duly provided with the needs of their wives and children. Do not fill out this duty has its spiritual implications. "But if any provide not for his own, especially with family members no effort, that denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5.8). Thus, if a man does not make any effort to secure his family financially, then illegally called a Christian. This does not mean, however, that the wife can not support this process, supply-Proverbs 31 shows, fearing that she might like to do the most-but not the supply of the family is its main duty, but her husband. While the man should help the kids and running the house (including filling his duty to love his wife), a verse from Proverbs 31 says clearly that taking care of the house is the main area of its commitment and responsibility. Even if you have to lie down to sleep late and get up early in the morning, the good of the family is the most important duty. This is not an easy way of life for many women-especially in Western societies prosperity. Too many women are emotionally exhausted, on the edge of their abilities. To protect them from such stress, both women and men need to prayerfully re-prioritize and follow the death of the biblical instructions regarding the respective roles in life.
Conflicts with responsibilities in the marriage will occur, but if both spouses remain in submission to Christ, the conflicts will be minimal. If the couple on the ground frequently and rapidly arguing or bickering seem to poróżniać spouses, the problem concerns the nature of the spiritual. In this case, the spouses should especially entrust again in prayer and obedience to Christ, and then to each other in love and respect.

So I just believe that if you love your wife as your own body (as Bible says) it shouldnt be lack of honor if you help her and the same with wife if she helps earn money for family members???????? what do you think?????

Dear Polish Girl, have you noticed that you are preaching to the wrong "conregation" here, so t o speak. By now you may have noticed the majority here have no idea what the Bible is and what it says, many here have not even opened the firs page. To most, that dusty old relic is in their grandmother's dusty old closet, to never be disturbed, lest they see messages counter to their myhthical ideas. Like when one of our friends here said that the Armenians were the First to translate the Bible.

Edited by Arpa, 07 February 2013 - 01:17 PM.


#39 Arpa

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:54 PM

Dear Polish Girl, have you noticed that you are preaching to the wrong "congregation" here, so to speak. By now you may have noticed that the majority here have no idea what the Bible is and what it says, many here have not even opened the first page. To most, that dusty old relic is in their grandmother's dusty old closet, to never be disturbed, lest they see messages counter to their myhthical ideas. Like when one of our friends here said that the Armenians were the First to translate the Bible.

See #s 9, 10 and on here;
http://hyeforum.com/...opic=22833&st=0
Of course, above our friend is confused at the word "first", which according to legend, the first opus the first book the Mashtotsians translated was the Bible, startng with the verse- "In the beginning was the 'word'..."

Edited by Arpa, 07 February 2013 - 02:05 PM.


#40 man

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Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:55 PM

Dear Polish Girl:
Glad to hear again from you and see that you are in high spirit.
You write: "I try to be a good woman for my man"

Yes, indeed for in Proverb 12:4 we read: "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband."
That Book of Proverbs is so good, so read & re-read it.

You write: "..and follow the death [you mean 'to death'] of the biblical instruction regarding respective roles in life"

"To death" is not the right word. We are not yet perfect and we make mistakes and come short, we try to improve our behavior and learn lessons from this life. The Baptists are so strict in things like that but as new born Christians we are in grace and should not feel so guilty when we come short. I hope you let your Armenian man read this thread in this Forum for to understand you better.

You write: "You see it was him who came to my life and stole my heart.."

As a Christian sister your heart must belong to Christ Jesus and He, Jesus, is the one that provides for you the proper right mate so you can grow spiritually and mentally and experience motherhood to the fullness of Christ. So first of all Jesus is your husband, then after that your physical mate in life. Before letting him steal your heart you should have been sure that he was a real brother-in-Christ and he will treat you as such, as a sister-in-Christ. You should have NOT let him take advantage of you since you are at an age when you long for someone to stand beside you, to hold, to hug and embrace you. The men know this weak point in females very well and can take advantage of.

It looks you know the Bible very well, you need to be born-again in your spirit and be baptized in the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Christ who lives inside you along with your own spirit and guides and helps. This forum and advice from your friends will not help, your real helper should be the Holy Spirit abiding inside you.
Well, the Holy Spirit likes you to be happy and dance, so take your man to a Polka dance party, I know if you are a Baptize you are not allowed to dance and do some other things. But Baptists are legalistic like the Pharisees in Jesus' time and most of what they teach is NOT of Jesus and is NOT of the Holy Spirit but rather from the own spirits of men who interpret the Word of God according to their own mindset and feelings and NOT that of God. So if you are Baptist then go look for a Charismatic Christian fellowship. God Bless and Take Care dear sister-in-Christ!




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