Those choices you listed are pretty much grounds for divorce, but most people divorce or separate for many other stupid reasons. And besides, if I were a chick I'd never make that choice anyway because most of these women who choose these "jerks" have what I have railed against for ages, this notion of changing the guy or thinking he will change for them or what have you because they believe their vagina is a magical vagina that this guy will surely change all his life for! Oh brother. And when you give people choice, they choose the worst of the worst and complain about it. When you arrange a marriage, they end up with someone good and solid and they complain about it.
No Anon, you and I can't just pinpoint and say what the reasons are or were for those "chicks" as you put it to marry these guys. Let's say in some cases the men don't show their low sides, then there are cases that the woman is sooooo much in love that she may feel it or see it; but disregards it for the sake of her powerful passions and emotions. Then of course it's her shortcoming for not going ahead with her better judgment to begin with, as after all a marriage should be for keeps, right? Hopefully right. Then there are cases of a woman where she would see the low sides in a man before marriage but again she would dismiss it; because (a) she deoesn't want to be a "doon mena"; or ( b ) her biological clock is running out; or ( c ) stupidly she may think that she can change him; which we know that almost never happends. And then there are such cases that the woman would'nt give enough time before marriage to either ask around or go out with him until she finds out a good deal about his characer/lifestyle, etc. Then it would be her shortcoming for rushing things before marriage. But the scenario could be the other way around too. It could be the guy who would be suffering with a gal that is not par to him. Either gender can suffer too with unreasonable spouses. That's why it's very important to find a spouse that matches your most important ethics and mores; otherwise it would be hell and NO heavan!
Now Gams says that he would have no problem with a nicely arranged marriage. In most cases they do work out alright. Yes parents mean very well for their offsprings; but I still think that the children should decide for themselves (fall in love and but also to think with their brains as well whether that individual that you fell in love with has indeed your most important basic ethics and mores or not. Otherwise it won't work out.
Edited by Takoush, 22 February 2008 - 04:08 PM.