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#1 Anileve

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Posted 07 March 2006 - 02:37 PM

Well spring is around the corner, out with the cold hopefully soon. It also means that the wedding season is about to start. Some of my friends are getting married, as we all acknowledge that we are not children anymore and although it's a little hard to let go it is an exciting step. Frankly I've been more around divorces than weddings, thus I know little about planning. A little while back I was a bride's maid and I was put through hell. The dresses, the endless hours of photo shoots, a very loooong church ceremony and constant hustle and bustle. I was exhausted at the end and wanted to go home and rest. I swore that if I get married I won't put anyone through the same torture. I was not part of the planning though.

So I was wondering if you guys can give me some information about planning a weddings. What would you avoid, how would you arrange, what were some of your experiences. Have you been to an outdoors weddings and indoors ones. What should one know about the pros and cons of both? Most women are very excited about the whole affair and dreamt of the day all their life, I was really never one of them. I really dislike the whole process. Can you tell me some stories, tips and information as much as you can, please?

Especially you Vavachka, your wedding was not that long ago as I recall.

#2 vava

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Posted 07 March 2006 - 11:41 PM

No time tonight - but I will respond in more detail soon. smile.gif I can only tell you what worked for us. It wasn't necessarily very orthodox... but we had an idea of what we wanted, and we did just that. We're both very happy with the result.

Now the important question: who's the lucky guy?? (and I do mean very lucky!) biggrin.gif

#3 Sip

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 12:20 AM

Here are my top 10 suggestions:

1. NEVER keep people waiting without food.
2. Get a good DJ instead of a band. The best live band can't even come close to what even an average DJ can do.
3. Simple is better, less is more.
4. If possible, don't have the church ceremony at one time and the reception several hours later. It's just not fair to the women.
5. Cut down the number of people. If you (the people getting married) haven't seen them in more than a year, then they probably don't need to be there.
6. Don't expect everything to go as planned.
7. Let the bride and groom enjoy the day ... it is their day.
8. Avoid overly pushy and dictatorial photographers/video people.
9. Indooor indoor indoor. Outdoor is extremely unpredictable with weather, flies, wind, sun, heat, cold, etc.
10. Hire a security guard to protect the money/gifts that will be there. A lot of people forget this important aspect.

#4 aSoldier

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 12:22 AM

smile.gif

Anileve, just out of curiosity, why do you start threads and never return to post in them?

#5 Takoush

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 02:20 AM

QUOTE(sSebB @ Mar 8 2006, 01:22 AM)  
smile.gif

Anileve, just out of curiosity, why do you start threads and never return to post in them?

I suppose she likes to make herself to be more interesting that way.

#6 aSoldier

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 02:23 AM

I guess so smile.gif

#7 vava

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 07:27 AM

My quick comments on Sip's suggestions:

QUOTE(Sip @ Mar 8 2006, 01:20 AM)  
Here are my top 10 suggestions:

1. NEVER keep people waiting without food.

Fair enough - although hors d'oeuvres are just fine for cocktails. I think the quality of the food is very important - no one likes cardboard chicken and/or watery soup. Keep in mind that alcohol is a considerable expense - so don't think of it as a side item. You want quality wines that match the meal - and you want to offer more than just the basic hard stuff.

QUOTE
2. Get a good DJ instead of a band. The best live band can't even come close to what even an average DJ can do.

Disagree - the right band can make the wedding. Failing to find the 'right' band (cause they're rare), get a good DJ - but be careful I made this mistake: Instead of just telling him/her what you'd like to hear (a 'play' list - which you should do, but there are no guarantees it will be followed stringently), make sure you provide a DO NOT PLAY list. I nearly had a heart attack when our DJ played Cher's "Do you believe in Love" - no song with a Vocoder effect should EVER be played at a wedding. EVER. Period.

QUOTE
3. Simple is better, less is more.

Good point. Simple in terms of how everything is presented/offered. Often doing someting 'simple & elegant' will cost you more time. Think about what kind of feeling you want to impart on the guests... Don't just go to a provide-everything type "wedding hall" - unless you want a cookie-cutter type of wedding. Sweat the details - details count.

QUOTE
4. If possible, don't have the church ceremony at one time and the reception several hours later. It's just not fair to the women.

It's not fair to anyone. And the photo 'break' - try to keep it to a minimum - after all you want to see your guests, right?

QUOTE
5. Cut down the number of people. If you (the people getting married) haven't seen them in more than a year, then they probably don't need to be there.

Agreed entirely - it's not a popularity contest, nor is it a business engagement, or social function for parents/in-laws etc. It's your WEDDING.

QUOTE
6. Don't expect everything to go as planned.

Exactly, do all your planning before hand. Make sure everyone (including your wedding party is well-versed on how things are supposed to go.) Share your knowledge of the plans with those carrying things out - so that if need be, others can make the decisions for you on the day and you won't be hounded by everyone.
Day of the wedding - relax, have fun - and if there are a few 'hang-ups' take them in stride and laugh'em off.
Make sure that all suppliers received their cheques (you can write them before hand and give them to a wedding party member to take care of... - that's why the wedding party is there, to help you runs things.)

QUOTE
7. Let the bride and groom enjoy the day ... it is their day.

Yes. Agreed.

QUOTE
8. Avoid overly pushy and dictatorial photographers/video people.

Agreed once again - decide with the photog the kinds of shots you want, and any particular shots you want. Too many overly 'posed' pics are less likely to make you happy then some good candids. Negotiate your price before hand and set your expectations accordingly.

QUOTE
9. Indooor indoor indoor. Outdoor is extremely unpredictable with weather, flies, wind, sun, heat, cold, etc.

Agreed - but you can do outdoor events (cocktail outdoors etc) as long as you have a backup plan for inclement weather.

QUOTE
10. Hire a security guard to protect the money/gifts that will be there. A lot of people forget this important aspect.

Or appoint a wedding party member to keep an eye on things. I've heard of many thefts in large commercial wedding halls - if your receptions is at another type of venue that's devoted to your event, you likely won't have any problems.

Good luck!

#8 Anileve

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 10:03 AM

QUOTE(vava @ Mar 8 2006, 12:41 AM)  
No time tonight - but I will respond in more detail soon. smile.gif I can only tell you what worked for us. It wasn't necessarily very orthodox... but we had an idea of what we wanted, and we did just that. We're both very happy with the result.

Now the important question: who's the lucky guy?? (and I do mean very lucky!) biggrin.gif

I have no interest in holding a traditional or orthodox wedding. It's wonderful that you have cooperated. Who was the main organizer, you or the missus or was it a collective effort?

Vavachka, you and Azat are just an embodiment of sweetness. I so hope to meet both of you one day! It's me who is the lucky one. smile.gif

#9 Anileve

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 10:06 AM

QUOTE(sSebB @ Mar 8 2006, 01:22 AM)  
smile.gif

Anileve, just out of curiosity, why do you start threads and never return to post in them?

You are quite right about me being evasive. I can tell you that I don't do it intentionally. I really have very little time these days, but I still miss my Hyeforum community. So I start a thread and then hope that I will continue, by the time I return I don't quite remember the thread.

Anahid, that's very nice of you, but I hardly do it to be interesting.

#10 Anileve

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 10:09 AM

QUOTE(Sip @ Mar 8 2006, 01:20 AM)  
Here are my top 10 suggestions:

1. NEVER keep people waiting without food.
2. Get a good DJ instead of a band. The best live band can't even come close to what even an average DJ can do.
3. Simple is better, less is more.
4. If possible, don't have the church ceremony at one time and the reception several hours later. It's just not fair to the women.
5. Cut down the number of people. If you (the people getting married) haven't seen them in more than a year, then they probably don't need to be there.
6. Don't expect everything to go as planned.
7. Let the bride and groom enjoy the day ... it is their day.
8. Avoid overly pushy and dictatorial photographers/video people.
9. Indooor indoor indoor. Outdoor is extremely unpredictable with weather, flies, wind, sun, heat, cold, etc.
10. Hire a security guard to protect the money/gifts that will be there. A lot of people forget this important aspect.

Awesome advice Sip, thanks! Practical as usual. Like Vava, I don't think I agree about the whole DJ bid, I think it's not often that you get to dance to a live band, a DJ is very common. It seems as if you planned weddings all your life. biggrin.gif

Have you ever been to an outdoor wedding?

#11 ExtraHye

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 10:50 AM

Congratulations Eve jan I wish the best for you. smile.gif

As for the weddingÖ. I know Armenians always go out of their way to make sure their wedding is the best from everyone elseís when it comes to the food, hall, band, etc. etc. so people wonít talk. But who cares what people might say. Like the guys said itís the brides and grooms wedding and they should do what ever makes them happy.

In my opinion itís crazy to go overboard and spend all that money for one night. Itís better to save that money and use it for a down payment on a house or go on a better honeymoon.

#12 Anileve

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 11:05 AM

QUOTE
My quick comments on Sip's suggestions:
Fair enough - although hors d'oeuvres are just fine for cocktails. I think the quality of the food is very important - no one likes cardboard chicken and/or watery soup. Keep in mind that alcohol is a considerable expense - so don't think of it as a side item. You want quality wines that match the meal - and you want to offer more than just the basic hard stuff.


The food is quite important to me as well. I really need an extensive menu. As you know food is always important factor for me. If the tastebuds are happy, an occasion seems that much better. I am really liking the idea of a Russian restaurant. Their banquet are amazing! We are talking caviar, eel, basturma, fois gras, shish kebab. Maybe Georgian or European. Take a look at one of the examples.

http://www.primorski...ean_banquet.htm

QUOTE
Disagree - the right band can make the wedding. Failing to find the 'right' band (cause they're rare), get a good DJ - but be careful I made this mistake: Instead of just telling him/her what you'd like to hear (a 'play' list - which you should do, but there are no guarantees it will be followed stringently), make sure you provide a DO NOT PLAY list. I nearly had a heart attack when our DJ played Cher's "Do you believe in Love" - no song with a Vocoder effect should EVER be played at a wedding. EVER. Period.


HA! Excellent choice for a wedding song, nothing like a break up tune for the newlyweds. I gotta say though, it's pretty darn funny. I also think that a band is a good choice.


QUOTE
Good point. Simple in terms of how everything is presented/offered. Often doing someting 'simple & elegant' will cost you more time. Think about what kind of feeling you want to impart on the guests... Don't just go to a provide-everything type "wedding hall" - unless you want a cookie-cutter type of wedding. Sweat the details - details count.


I thought of doing a classy and elegant wedding, but I think I will settle down for a cheesy but fun effect. No one is going to enjoy an elegant wedding if it's so elegant that it's borderline boring. Ideally I would love to have one on an island somewhere with our immediate families. But that's not an option, so instead I opt for a minimum hassle. Everything is prepared, taken care of and guaranteed.


---
Eve, I split your post into 2. That seemed to fix the quote problem. --Sip

Edited by Sip, 08 March 2006 - 12:59 PM.


#13 Anileve

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 11:13 AM

QUOTE
It's not fair to anyone. And the photo 'break' - try to keep it to a minimum - after all you want to see your guests, right?


Good point.

QUOTE
Agreed entirely - it's not a popularity contest, nor is it a business engagement, or social function for parents/in-laws etc. It's your WEDDING.


It's so hard not to invite coworkers if you are rather close with them. What if you have been invited to a wedding, but you don't necessarily want to invite those people?

QUOTE
Exactly, do all your planning before hand. Make sure everyone (including your wedding party is well-versed on how things are supposed to go.) Share your knowledge of the plans with those carrying things out - so that if need be, others can make the decisions for you on the day and you won't be hounded by everyone.


What do you think is a reasonable time for a preparation? Considering that there isn't a church ceremony?

QUOTE
Day of the wedding - relax, have fun - and if there are a few 'hang-ups' take them in stride and laugh'em off.


Very essential advice.

QUOTE
Make sure that all suppliers received their cheques (you can write them before hand and give them to a wedding party member to take care of... - that's why the wedding party is there, to help you runs things.)
Yes. Agreed.


Do you think it's necessary to give wedding souvenirs? I hate those stupid things that people give, they are so useless and tasteless. In fact I don't want any gifts.

QUOTE
Agreed once again - decide with the photog the kinds of shots you want, and any particular shots you want. Too many overly 'posed' pics are less likely to make you happy then some good candids. Negotiate your price before hand and set your expectations accordingly.


I am obsessed with the principle of low cost. I always thought that it's unreasonable for so much money to be spent on one ceremony. I prefer more simple with less frills. I want a civil ceremony, photos by on the boardwalk overlooking the city and the river or in a botanical garden. Good food, champagne and dancing.
No swans, priests, fluffy dresses, fru fru setting.

QUOTE
Agreed - but you can do outdoor events (cocktail outdoors etc) as long as you have a backup plan for inclement weather.


Frankly, I think it's too much work. The idea is very appealing, in the summer, outdoors and bbq. But how realistic is it for 120 people? And how safe.

Man, I forgot how difficult it is typing at work.

QUOTE
Good luck!


I always saidand will keep saying that your DW hit the jackpot! You are divine!

Edited by Sip, 08 March 2006 - 12:59 PM.


#14 Anileve

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 11:15 AM

QUOTE(ExtraHye @ Mar 8 2006, 11:50 AM)  
Congratulations Eve jan I wish the best for you. smile.gif

As for the weddingÖ. I know Armenians always go out of their way to make sure their wedding is the best from everyone elseís when it comes to the food, hall, band, etc. etc. so people wonít talk. But who cares what people might say. Like the guys said itís the brides and grooms wedding and they should do what ever makes them happy.

In my opinion itís crazy to go overboard and spend all that money for one night. Itís better to save that money and use it for a down payment on a house or go on a better honeymoon.


Thank you Amy jan! You are absolutely right! I know people say that "it's once in your lifetime" (statistics show otherwise), people say that it's the most important day of your life (I think that's bologne). I also think that one of the most important things is the honeymoon. I'd rather spend it there.

#15 ED

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 11:18 AM

QUOTE(Anileve @ Mar 8 2006, 09:13 AM)  
This is very annoying, the quotation doesn't work.



congrads Jutik, all the best to you in life ( and many many jutikner) wink.gif

Eve, maximum number of quotations you can do in a single post is 10

#16 Azat

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 12:13 PM

This is a sad day. This mean I have no chance with Eve. sad.gif sad.gif


hehehe

Evul jan. I wish you all the best in the world.

I have been to 2 weddings on the beach. One on the low end and one on the very high end and they were both the best weddings I have ever been too. By FAR.

#17 Sip

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 01:04 PM

Ed, I didn't know that about the max! Thanks.

About the band, I also used to think a band is better but recently I have been to two weddings where the band just sucked. They kept singing the same songs over and over and over. But I have also been to two weddings with the same DJ who is REALLY good (one was at my brother's wedding last year) and the party basically never stopped. Everyone was dancing the WHOLE time!

If you have been to typical Armo weddings, you know that doesn't really happen since a bunch of people sit and stare and select groups dance on and off. So that's where my comment about band/dj was coming from.

About the food, gotta clarify that Horse De Ovaries are also ok! Anything to keep the mouth busy will make for happier guests.

#18 Sip

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 01:11 PM

QUOTE(Anileve @ Mar 8 2006, 11:13 AM)  
Do you think it's necessary to give wedding souvenirs? I hate those stupid things that people give, they are so useless and tasteless. In fact I don't want any gifts.


It is not necessary but there are things that you have to do so you can combine this with that step. I think it's a good idea to have a small card with the name of every guest (grouped by small groups if easier like for families) on a small card at the enterance with the table number of where they are supposed to sit.

What you can do, is get a bunch of tiny picture frames (very cheap online and you can buy in bluk -- maybe $1 a piece or less) and just put each card in the frame. If you want, you can get creative a little bit on the card but you don't have to.

Basically, that little frame will be their souvenir to take home ... plus it'll serve a purpose of holding those name cards.

That's what my brother did at his wedding and it wroked pretty well.

#19 Takoush

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 01:12 PM

Eveylin:

I hope you didn't misunderstand me on my above post as I didn't mean anything but that matter of fact. Didn't mean anything negative.

Anyhow, a long time ago when I found out that you live in New York City and that I'm living in New Jersey, which is very close to you, I have extended my friendship to you and wanted to meet you sometimes and you never answered me. But that's passed now.

I sincerely wish you all the best of luck in your upcoming marriage and I wish that it'll be a very successful and a loving union between you and your husband to be.

#20 ExtraHye

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 01:13 PM

What does Horse De Ovaries mean? huh.gif




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