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Please help me understand this man


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#1 hyefriend

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 05:31 AM

I've known this Armenian man for seven years over a database that allows you to phone without giving out your phone number etc. This man was very supportive of me in fact the only one that was supportive of me during the five hard years of my husband dying. About six months after my husband was gone he told me he wanted to see me in person because I was a good woman and he thought we had a lot in common. He lives in another state 1200 miles away. He finally ask for my phone number but he never gave me his real phone number. He tried to come see me last year around February but got real sick. Then after he got better his aunt had a massive heart attack. A month later his aunt goes into a comma and it has been a year and she is still in a coma. He phones me and allows me to phone him over the data base. He still tells me he wants to see me but so far hasn't given me a date or how we will meet. I tried getting out there about three times but always something happens and he cancels me coming out there. Now I don't have money to travel to his state. He says his life is complicated with the aunt, his job (he is a operations manager for a roofing company), and trying to take care of his three children as a single parent. He keeps telling me we will see each other and get together just wait for him to get his life together.
Now, I'm confused of course because no American man would hang around so long unless he is serious. We are talking about over two years here. So please shed some light on this strange relationship coming from your culture so I can better understand.

#2 Yervant1

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 10:20 AM

Dear hyefriend, welcome to Hyeforum! Unfortunately your situation has nothing to do whether he is Armenian or not, but everything to do about a secretive man who is hiding something from you, since there is no honesty in the relationship my advice to you is move on and forget him. You don't need to complicate your life, seven years of waiting didn't get you one inch closer to him, think about that.

P.S. I'm not a psychologist, but I play one, here on Hyeforum! Good Luck! :)

#3 hyefriend

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 11:45 AM

thank you for your answer.

#4 hyefriend

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 12:19 PM

Dear hyefriend, welcome to Hyeforum! Unfortunately your situation has nothing to do whether he is Armenian or not, but everything to do about a secretive man who is hiding something from you, since there is no honesty in the relationship my advice to you is move on and forget him. You don't need to complicate your life, seven years of waiting didn't get you one inch closer to him, think about that.

P.S. I'm not a psychologist, but I play one, here on Hyeforum! Good Luck! :)


You know what he does doesn't make since to me. I mean we were just internet friends so why all of a sudden saying he wants to meet me and he doesn't. Just for me to understand. What does he get out of this?

#5 Yervant1

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 01:05 PM

You know what he does doesn't make since to me. I mean we were just internet friends so why all of a sudden saying he wants to meet me and he doesn't. Just for me to understand. What does he get out of this?

I'm afraid only he can answer your questions if he wants to truthfully. I think you are asking the wrong question of him when you should be asking yourself, What am I getting out of this and how far am I willing to wait?

#6 hyefriend

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 01:50 PM

I'm afraid only he can answer your questions if he wants to truthfully. I think you are asking the wrong question of him when you should be asking yourself, What am I getting out of this and how far am I willing to wait?

Well when he was just an internet friend I had someone that would listen and who was kind. I got a lot out of it then because he was just someone to talk too and he was good at that. But when he said he wanted more and seeing each other etc. and maybe being boyfriend and girlfriend. that is a whole different thing. Then it became hurtful because then he wasn't even a real friend to me because he never gave me his real phone number. He never gave me his address and I wanted to send him a hand spun and hand crocheted blanket I made for him for being there for me with my husband dying. And I start to not believe in maybe he is even Armenian like he said even. And I feel he is a very mean and cruel man because he is playing with someone who lost all their family. I'm not really waiting its just I don't know how to find anyone any more. I'm 53 years old and I lived so long in Egypt that I don't even feel I fit in America any more even though I was born here. I am lonely and I miss the close family ties I used to have in Egypt. I can not go back there. I was not born there. Arranged marriage. The husband wasn't so good but the extended family were the best people on earth. You will find me crazy but I wish I could have another arranged marriage with a good man.

#7 Sip

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Posted 07 May 2012 - 02:38 PM

People still talk on the phone? Wow. I'd suggest you guys try G+ Hangout or skype or something a bit less 19th century :)




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