24 replies to this topic

[CheekY]

i was wondering...would you leave your wife if she was unable to have a baby? i know a woman whose husband left her...even though he was the one with the problem

[sev-mard]

Well that's weird. Maybe he was embarrased, i'm pretty sure he was. That's a tough issue, I'm pretty sure i'd try my hardest to stay with her. It's your wife and I don't take marriage as a joke. Technology is great these days and you can do a variety of things to procreate. So there really isn't much reason besides if you crack under the stress cuz you're a weaker person.

[Sip]

i know a woman whose husband left her...even though he was the one with the problem

Are you sure he was the problem? If not, can I have her number?

[angel4hope]

vay sephan you dog you... btw hey how u doin?

[CheekY]

um sure but she's over 40 now

[Dan]

i was wondering...would you leave your wife if she was unable to have a baby?

Of course not... even if SHE were the one who had the problem.... marriage is not about having kids, it's about love, respect, and commitment. You say so when you get married in church... It is stupid to leave your wife just cos she can't bear your kid.... not to mention, very rude.... One of the few things I'm completely intolerant of. Go adopt a kid, there are lots of orphanages out there, you'd be doing good for a human being, at least, instead of selfishly seeking to multiply your genes.

i know a woman whose husband left her...even though he was the one with the problem

That's the classic example of how Armenian in-laws brainwash either the man or the woman in the couple (mostly the man, cos most of the time the wife is in no position to leave her husband) and create such problems with those myths about how if there's a problem with not being able to have kids, it's always the woman's problem... i've heard too many such stories... f***ing materialistic idiots. And those are the same people who go around on crusades in the name of Armenian traditions.. More like Armenian stupidity. It's about time that we see the difference between ignorance/illiteracy and Armenian "traditions"/culture...

[Armo77]

Would never....


Disclaimer: Please.. this is my personal opinion.

[sev-mard]

Would never....


Disclaimer: Please.. this is my personal opinion.

Right no ape~! Stand by your wo-man...

[Dan]

Disclaimer: Please.. this is my personal opinion.

no it's not, and i'm gonna bash you for it... ok ok, kidding dude!

and lol Sip...

[CheekY]

ok so far so good

[Dan]

ok so far so good

wait till Davo replies to this.. *puts his halo on*

[CheekY]

i guess no one wants to talk about this...

[sev-mard]

I mean I think being strong and standing by your woman until the bitter end is a no-brainer. I can't generalize but i'm sure many traditional hye martyer may not agree with that. If I had other issues, and I mean ALOT because I don't ever want to get divorced. If it's only about her fertility, while it'll be difficult, I don't see it as an automatic reason why you should leave your wife.

[Stormig]

If I were married and found I couldn't have kids and my husband turned out to be an arse, I'd feel pretty devastated.
But, knowing myself, I'd probably be co-habiting with someone for a while, then deciding we wanted a baby, then getting the test result confirming such, and get married then. I personally see no point in marriage unless it's about kids.

[CheekY]

I personally see no point in marriage unless it's about kids.

really?
i wanna get married not because i want to have babies but because i wanna spend my life with the person i love the most... in the end your kids are gonna grow up and leave and it's gonna be just the 2 of you again...
so when a man leaves you because you can't give him babies then he doesn't really give a damn about you... and in most Armenian families when the girl doesn't get pregnant during the first few months of marriage her parents and in-laws and even relatives start freaking out...asking is she pregnant yet? is she pregnant yet??? are you pregnant yet??? when are you gonna get pregnant???! what's the big deal maybe she doesn't want babies right away... it's like you have to have a baby ASAP to show you're not infertile or something.

[Davo0074_NL]

Well Dan this is my reply, I think it is not as shocking as you all might wish but...

I think a man or woman is free to leave in a case like this. Ofcourse there are options as adoption or something. A child is a miracle that is so special that you can`t stop someone from having the wish to have one. For me it would be a very difficult decission. I hope to marry the girl/woman of my dreams and to have the family of my dreams. In my opinion a family is more then only man and wife. I want a child that has my blood. I`m not sure if I would leave my wife in this case but I would take it in considderation.

[sev-mard]

I believe marriage can exist without children, but it's definately a huge part. I don't feel couples should rush to have children though. Pacing is good. Time spent as a married couple is good before creating a family right away as well. Sometimes lack of time to get used to each other, as husband and wife, before building a family causes divorce.

[gurgen]

and in most Armenian families when the girl doesn't get pregnant during the first few months of marriage her parents and in-laws and even relatives start freaking out...asking is she pregnant yet? is she pregnant yet??? are you pregnant yet??? when are you gonna get pregnant???! what's the big deal maybe she doesn't want babies right away... it's like you have to have a baby ASAP to show you're not infertile or something.

Armenian relatives need to be ignored once in a while

[Stormig]

really?
i wanna get married not because i want to have babies but because i wanna spend my life with the person i love the most... in the end your kids are gonna grow up and leave and it's gonna be just the 2 of you again...

See, this is what I don't get - what's keeping you from spending your years, your lifetime, with someone? Why all the contraptions? Is it a trap for either side to secure alimony, inheritance, etc.? Why the insecurity? If something goes wrong, normally you would break up, but with marriage you actually have to go through divorce and third parties and lawyers butting in, the whole process, etc. Things can go wrong when you have children, too, but in that situation it's a step worth being taken for the sake of the future and rights of the children.

[Davo0074_NL]

Yeah I`ll get married to make some babies, why not? Is there a sweeter thing the children?